Surrender to God’s Time and Will

As members of today’s instant gratification, fast paced society, we often shy away from objectives requiring more from us. In recognizing that time and results belong solely to God, we begin to Surrender to His Will.

Following the Winding Path:
The Surrender Novena

No, not the winding path! Instead give me the straight path. I want the simplicity of a quick and easy answer – and I want it now. Isn’t that what we want. Anything else seems just too difficult.

Oh, how we humans cling to this in many aspects of our lives! We are comfortable in our own little niche of the world and we like it that way. No muss, no fuss – that is how we define comfort and security. Yet how many times is that desire to keep things the same – to avoid the discomfort of change – detrimental to our growth?

Yet, change = growth. It has been said that nothing stays the same – things either get better or worse. However, if the truth be told, we would prefer the option to stagnate in our self-defined comfort zone. In addition, we also want the quick answers, prayers received, wishes granted.

O Lord, give me patience and I want it right now!

What Does That Say About Faith?  

Read more at www.CatholicLifeInOurTimes.com 

3 Ways Grace Helps Marriage

Greetings! Birgit here, hoping you have reached out to my new blog at Catholic Life In Our Times. If you haven't gotten the memo yet, here's your chance to jump in. Just follow the digest links below and you'll have arrived.

In an attempt to walk with you on the journey of a godly life, I write to share some experiences you might find familiar, with the hope of shedding some light on faith-filled insight and possibly a solution or two.

Thank you for reading and God bless!

1. My Mother’s Illicit Marriage Strengthened My Faith

"As the first teachers of our children, parents face an important obligation. Not only their words, but their very actions dictate how children receive and live the gift of faith. Even mistakes, made and corrected, can be a shining beacon of hope for everlasting joy with God in Heaven."

The Catechism of the Catholic Church upholds the biblical directive that parents are the first (and most important) teachers of their children. What we often fail to realize is that what we do can have much more effect on our children than what we say or how we instruct. Who has not seen one of their less than desirable actions or words mimicked by a child and felt a sudden blush of guilt? Sometimes, though, a child learns an important lesson from the mistakes in a parent’s life, and how they rise to the occasion. That was the case for me; my mother's illicit marriage actually helped to strengthen my faith. (continue)

2. Marriage: God First, Spouse Second, Children Third

"We're told to look out for #1, but as Catholic Christians we know that position belongs to God. His order of priorities for in marriage may surprise you too."

Marriage is a hot button topic these days. The definition of marriage is challenged all around us, and the nuclear family is attacked by the secularized world. As the Humanae Vitae 2018 Symposium, held at the University of America, recently confirmed the nuclear family is in danger. Yet, it is vitally important to the common good of society. The prevalent use of contraception has had a disastrous effect on families and society as a whole. Instead of reducing the number of abortions, which was the stated intent, abortions have actually increased during the upswing of contraception. The cheapening of sex, and the decline of respect for the procreative aspect of the marriage bed, has much to do with this. Leaving God, and His command to 'go forth and multiply', has largely been abandoned as well, leaving us with up-side-down values. (continue)

3. Grace In Marriage:Reflections From a 17-Year-Old Bride

"What can a 17-year-old bride tell us about grace in marriage? You might be surprised to find that experience comes in all forms and from all ages."

Witnessing the constant attacks against the institution of marriage leaves us gasping for a moral resolution. Surely punishment similar to Sodom and Gomorrah is waiting in the wings for our fallen world. It isn't even necessary to list the many abhorrent sins against Holy Matrimony of our modern times. Unless you're hiding under a rock your are at least marginally aware. As Catholic Christians it's our duty to 'do something', but what?

What we need is a return to grace in marriage because God's grace is the only resolution. We all know that marriage isn't easy. As the two, who have become one, live past the ceremony and reception, they experience the reality of life. What holds the bond together for eternity is an influx of God's grace in marriage. (continue)

What sorts of stories can you tell about grace in marriage? Share your thoughts in the comment boxes of the links above.

Designs by Birgit is Moving

Hi all! I wanted to let you know that I am packing up my posts and moving over to a new WordPress site by the same name. My goal is to make my musings more viewer friendly and to add more free content for sharing.

Some of the changes you will see:

• The Pro-life memes I create and share on Facebook will be available for free download and sharing or using for your parishes, pages, or blogs.

• Original artwork from Benedict Catholic Creations will be available as well. My creative and talented daughter does an amazing job illustrating for your needs - both Catholic and nature. She also shares homeschool resources.

• Content will feel more accessible and user friendly (I hope).

What won't change is my dedication to share messages of faith, life, and creativity. 

Go check it out - I've added a few things already and will be working on getting settled in as quickly as possible. I hope you'll join me at the new Designs by Birgit location and consider sharing with your friends. 

Thanks and God bless!

Sometimes Sharing Your Ordeal Blesses Other Victims

Sharing a heart-wrenching ordeal can become a matter of rejoicing when it witnesses victory over evil. Not just survival, but a of a flourishing outcome makes a profound statement . By looking closely at every obstacle, struggle, and eventual victory in their lives, people have the ability to discover hope. Such examinations of the past can be an aid to hope for a fruitful future. Most victims who share this kind of witness are in no way attempting to find fame or fortune. Nor are they seeking attention – their fifteen minutes in the spotlight. Contrarily, the dredging up of the past brings tears, pain, and sometimes even nightmares. Yet the experience begs to be shared as a beacon of hope to those experiencing similar ordeals.

"God gives each one of us sufficient grace ever to know his holy will, and to do it fully." -St. Ignatius of Loyola

After the Ordeal

I was an inexperienced fourteen-year-old teen when my life was forever changed in a horrific eye-opening ordeal. The cute boy down the street had a violent side and I was his naïve young victim. That I was not the only one affected goes without saying. Our family dynamic would never be the same. A new child was conceived.

The 1970’s were not like current times, with relaxed moral views and blasé reactions. Unwed motherhood was taboo and our family, Catholic and pro-life, hunkered down to await the new arrival. It was decided that the child, a boy, would be adopted by my parents and become a special sibling to us.

Life Moves On

After the new addition arrived we continued our small town American life. Returning to school was unnerving but college was in my future, necessitating the prerequisite grades. Aside from a few hushed whispers, our tiny community continued on without much ado.

My parents stipulated that dating begin promptly at sixteen. Remarkably I met a young man who won approval from my parents almost immediately. Something I now recognize as Divine Providence. We dated throughout high school and married during my senior year. My husband and I tried unsuccessfully to persuade my mother to allow us to adopt my brother (son) but the mother-child connection they had developed was too strong. My mother simply couldn’t give up the three-year-old son she now called her own.

College-bound after completion of high school, four years later found me as a married college graduate with a one-year-old son. Life had successfully and beautifully moved on. The scholarship I had been denied (because I was married), the teen ordeal and subsequent birth, as well as the youthful marriage, had not marred my future. If anything, these life circumstances had enhanced my ability to cope with responsibility and the unexpected. The graces flowing from our sacramental marriage allowed us to weather any storm and remain committed to loving each other.

Career Blessings

As unhindered as my education was, my career likewise flourished. The experience of my youth strengthened my drive to become a pro-life advocate. The BA acquired enhanced creative endeavors toward that goal. Tempered by the fire of the punitive ordeal, my organizational skills were finely honed as well. Life lessons had prepared me for numerous employment experiences including: Executive Director of pro-life groups, art teacher, and Field Representative for a pro-life U.S. Congressman.

Vocational Choice

In the end, my strong vocation for a traditional family won out. My preeminent career move was achieved. Stay at home mother became the most rewarding career choice for me. First, as the mother of three children attending Catholic schools and then as a home educator.

Now that my own children are grown and parents in their own right, I continue to relish home life by having grandchildren around me as much as possible. The life I have lived, the life I am living was not hindered in any way by my adolescent ordeal. In some ways the experiences I endured prepared me for who I want to be today.

There were myriad options along the way – but the choices were mine to make. In the end, an early pregnancy did not prevent the achievement of becoming who God called me to be. I became exactly who I was meant to be: A woman with many choices, armed with strength and faith and endless possibilities.

Don’t Believe the Abortion Hype

The telling of my experiences is in no way intended as a long list of self-congratulatory achievements. On the contrary, my hope is to inspire those who are thrust into similar circumstances. Never forget that Planned Parenthood and their ilk exist as money-making businesses whose success depends on taking the lives of helpless unborn babies by seducing their mothers by abortion promoting hype.

As with people who grow up in poverty, broken homes, and abuse, success is dependent on grace, a strong will, and faith in the human person who was created by an almighty God. He has endowed all people, from conception, with a right to life and an undeniable ability to achieve. To use an unexpected pregnancy as an excuse not to achieve is a morally bankrupt denial of the human will.

Abortion Hurts Society

In my pro-life work, I have been privileged to know many women who pulled themselves up out of their post-abortion desolation. Without fail, their regret is profound but their conviction for life is greater. Many of these women unselfishly relive the most painful experience in their lives in an effort to help others. They speak and write and volunteer in their vocation as pro-life advocates. Their pain is unspeakable and lingering guilt drives them to a profoundly selfless love of others. Although forgiven, a passionate resolve to bring something positive out of past flawed choices makes them insightful ambassadors for life.

Let us all do as much as we can to promote a Culture of Life. Even if the conception occurred under duress. After all, the child is simply another,living victim of this ordeal and has a God-given right to life. There can be no excuses to negate the fact that these children are as much of gift of God as the planned child. Furthermore, we no longer live in a time of scientific ignorance – even secular science confirms life begins at fertilization. Likewise, our faith in God confirms that all people are conceived as equals – each life is important, no matter its origin. Educate yourself, speak out, and pray to end abortion.

And if you are a sister survivor, please consider sharing your story - no matter the circumstances or which choice you made. The goal in doing God's work is to work in His vineyard. How many women and their babies might He save as a result of your witness?

“God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.” Saint Teresa of Calcutta

Catholics, Planned Parenthood, Birth Control, and Heresy

In an effort to justify (and excuse) birth control and require those who conscientiously object to provide it to others, Planned Parenthood has come up with a cute little meme. As Christians everywhere traverse the dangerous territory of skewed morality, our rights to deeply held religious beliefs are being put to the test.

The pro-abortion faction is no longer satisfied with thrusting their ideology on everyone through straightforward advertising. Now they have devised a fraudulent method to entice Christians to conform to their way of thinking. Enter abortion giant, Planned Parenthood. Known for ‘cute’ ways of rationalizing deadly behavior; they have created memes for all of us to share.
By choosing the meme that indicates your belief system – Catholic, Baptist, Christian, Muslim, etc. – you can now brightly proclaim that you have deviated from long-held religious beliefs, no matter which form of faith you practice.

Let us be clear. The purported support is for access to birth control. What they really mean is that the Little Sisters of the Poor and other Christian groups, businesses, and organizations should be forced to provide free birth control, contrary to their firmly held religious beliefs.
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The Counter-Planned Parenthood Meme

With righteous indignation, my daughter created a counter-meme. In this graphic, she exposes the heretical nature of supporting and using artificial contraception. After all, publicly and loudly proclaiming to support a practice that has been condemned by the Catholic Church since her inception certainly is not acceptable for Catholics. Not only does practicing birth control represent a sinful act for these individuals, but by their public support they are also leading others astray by scandal.

The pulse racing response to the counter-meme has been enlightening. There have been arguments for using the pill for everything from acne to poly-cystic ovaries. Some stubbornly relate that the decision is ‘between me and my God”. Referencing Natural Family Planning (NFP) for a preferable and healthy alternative has been mostly met with silence.

What Is Heresy?

Another considerably negative response has been addressed toward the consideration of heresy being committed. I can understand the hesitancy in using the word – heresy – especially when seemly judging the souls of others. But is that what is intended? Is it possible that some of the accused may be committing heresy? Let’s take a very brief, historical walk through the Catholic Church and her approach to both birth control and heresy.

Let us first take a look at heresy and automatic excommunication. According to the 1983 Code of Canon Law (CIC), aside from abortion, “eight other sins carry the penalty of automatic excommunication: apostasy, heresy, schism (CIC 1364:1), violating the sacred species (CIC 1367), physically attacking the pope (CIC 1370:1), sacramentally absolving an accomplice in a sexual sin (CIC 1378:1), consecrating a bishop without authorization (CIC 1382), and directly violating the seal of confession (1388:1)”.

Here it is understood that “heresy is the obstinate doubt or denial, after baptism, of a defined Catholic doctrine”.

Citing Humanae Vitae and Popes

Ever since (and before) Pope Paul VI promulgated his encyclical, Humanae Vitae (Of Human Life), the highest Catholic authority has held to the prohibition of all forms of artificial birth control/contraception. While this teaching was difficult to accept by some, its affirmation of the consistent moral teaching of the Church on the sanctity of life was fervently upheld - by both Saint Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI.

This uninterrupted teaching of Catholic Doctrine affirms the danger of contraception to the life of marriage/family (and therefore society as a whole). Given the medically confirmed fact that the Pill (as well as some other forms of birth control) acts as an abortifacient agent, the consequences progress even to the ending of unborn life.

Therefore, ignoring this clear position of the Church or doing the mental gymnastics required to justify the use of birth control, could indicate an “…obstinate doubt or denial, after baptism, of a defined Catholic doctrine” – heresy.

Just because birth control, per se, was not specifically mentioned does not negate the severity of departing from a position held by the Church since its inception. Can you imagine how long the list would be if each and every form of heretical belief was individually listed?

When Is It Not Heresy?

It is vitally important for Catholics to realize that “No one is automatically excommunicated for any offense if, without any fault of his own, he was unaware that he was violating a law (CIC 1323:2) or that a penalty was attached to the law (CIC 1324:1:9). The same applies if one was a minor, had the imperfect use of reason, was forced through grave or relatively grave fear, was forced through serious inconvenience, or in certain other circumstances (CIC 1324)".

However, I do submit that this stubbornly held belief (contrary to irrevocable Church teaching), shouted to the world, can become heretical. Willful ignorance, after being informed of Church law, is also a means of denial.

Meme vs. Meme

Planned Parenthood persists in twisting and misrepresenting people of faith. Historically, their meme campaigns rely on misinformation and skewed logic. Bright colors and catchphrases are employed to grab the attention of the public and lead them to accept a misconstrued sort of reality. When countering sound bites and eye-catching graphics, a similar approach often brings the misconception to light. In creating a similar meme, many people are given the corrected message.

Discussions and even heated debates allowed the truth to break to the surface. I daresay that many Catholics were lead to reexamine their own consciences concerning the topic of birth control and the Church. To this extent, even with the misgivings of some, fighting fire with fire elicited a response that was both educational and effective. Is this method everyone’s cup of tea? No. Just as pro-life advocates and even saints employ(ed) different means of preaching the Gospel, the tone of memes are subject to the particular approach of the messenger.

So, was the intention of the countering meme to unequivocally imply that every woman using birth control is a heretic? Absolutely not. However, I do submit that this stubbornly held belief (dangerously contrary to irrevocable Church teaching), shouted to the world, can become heretical.

6 Things About Christmas You Might Not Know

At my age of ‘slightly 60’ you’d think I’d know a thing or two about the Season. After all, I've faithfully celebrated Christmas my entire life. Yet a couple of these revelations surprised me. They might just surprise you too!

Why We Hang Stockings

Why do we hang stockings at Christmas? Watch this brief, informative video so find out about the true story of the REAL Santa Claus.

The Christmas Tree

We’ve often heard that the Christmas Tree has pagan origins. What is it with people accusing the Catholic Church of either being pagan or usurping pagan holidays and symbols? Here is another take on the subject that has a much more saintly tone.

Biological and Chronological Reason to Believe Jesus Was Born in December

We’ve all heard the naysayers, “No one knows when Jesus was truly born. People just had to pick a date and so they transferred His birth to a pagan holiday”. Well, there might just be a few pieces of proof, found both in scripture and the calendar.

For another take, check out this helpful information.

The Significance of Swaddling Clothes

Do you know the significance of Jesus being swaddled at birth? Watch this brief video! Jesus truly is the Lamb of God!

Jesus' Birth in Bethlehem Prefigures the Eucharist

What's amazing is that from the first instant of the Incarnation (God made Man) we were given a discourse on the Eucharist. There have always been subtle ways that point to Christ's role in our Salvation.

Bethel - Means the House of God.
Bethelehem - Means House of Bread.
LaMange (the manger) - Means t o consume.

The Season of Christmas BEGINs on Christmas

Contrary to popular sentiment on the Hallmark Channel or children’s stories, Christmas is a Season. The days leading up to this Season is the Season of Advent (now celebrated for four weeks in most churches). Christmas Eve ends Advent and Christmas Day heralds the Season of Christmas. Check out the neatly laid out basics by National Catholic Register.

So, there we have it, some things you may or may not have known about Christmas. How many were already familiar to you? Let us know in the comments. Three of these were news to me!

We Need Advent to Properly Celebrate Christmas

Leading up to the festivities of Christmas, Advent can bring many pressures to an already hectic time. Keeping Christ in Christmas is certainly our first objective but life's realities must garner our attention as well. Balance needs to be found so that you approach the Season in a way that is right for you. As an individual, your life is unlike the life of any other. Your family responsibilities, job obligations, and the things that just happen - this all fits into the equation of what makes up the entire picture of your life.

Sometimes stepping back and looking at the whole picture is a helpful means of finding balance for your reality.

1. Don't feel inadequate because you are not keeping up with all of the many opportunities to have the best Advent ever. You cannot do it all. You probably are not even able to fulfill your own personalized agenda each and every day. Be honest with yourself and grab onto the things you can do and prioritize. That way, your spiritual life will remain at the top but, your other duties will also stand a chance.

2. Instead savor Advent - a season purposely focused on waiting and preparation. Every day, try to find a quiet moment to allow God to fill the spaces in your heart that need comfort, courage, and grace. For a mom, that might only be available early in the morning, late at night, or while waiting in the car while performing mom’s taxi service. Yet, you can make it special nonetheless. Breathe deeply and invite Him in.

3. Do not think you have to be Martha Stewart or recreate every 'wow' project on Pinterest, some years I make the most perfect cookies, from scratch. There are the cookies of my German heritage and there are the cookies that look picture perfect with colorful icing. I manage to get it all in because I feel inspired and because life has allowed it that year. Other years, it simply fails to happen. There might be too many choir and Christmas play practices. Or maybe I have chosen to sew a few gifts. Sometimes I simply feel uninspired. I have had to learn to just let life ebb and flow. The main thing is to make it to confession, prepare for His Coming, and to make sure others feel (and see) Christ's love in me.

4. Instead simplify by choosing one or two things per day, so that you can enjoy Advent with your family. Maybe you are like me and you want to be structured but your mind wanders restlessly between all of the objectives I have set up for myself. When that feeling threatens to steal my peace of mind, I go to the time-honored system of list making. The list begins with the most important objectives and dwindles down to the optional. If I set my mind to completing the items on my list, one at a time, it all of a sudden becomes doable.

5. So the second (or third) Sunday of Advent has come and gone. Don't throw your hands up in despair because Advent has already begun and you're feeling behind. Is it really too late? Not a chance. Remember, we serve a God of many chances. However many days remain, that is how many opportunities you still have to 'get with the program'. What is your hold up? Start today!

6. Don't over emphasize the material - whether it's preparing a feast (or replicating a French pastry shop), gifting, or decor. Some years the financial picture is less promising than you would like. That is the year that you give from the heart. Some of the most memorable gifts have been the ones that cost very little but hit just the right spot in the heart. Bags made for the girls out of left over fabric, a heritage cookbook, or a specially handcrafted booklet. These are actually the ones most cherished.

8. In the rushed and demanding days leading up to family gatherings, savor each aspect, make each prayer, book, project or gift sublimely important by pouring your love into it. Allow Jesus to sit at your side and offer these gifts to Him as well.

When everything on your list is checked off, the last package is wrapped, and your special times with Jesus have strengthened your spirit, that is when you will become most aware of the beauty of the Season. The glow of the faces around you as you attend Mass, the soothing nourishment your soul receives when receiving Him in the Eucharist, and the afterglow of the remembrance of a humble Child Who came to save us all - that will be your Gift.

The hurry and worry will be washed away. Your preparation and readiness to greet Him will all fall into place and you will realize that we truly need the anticipatory time of Advent to fully celebrate Christmas.

The Advent Season, For Us and For Others

Everything about the First Sunday of Advent urged us to be ready. We heard about those who were wise and prepared and those who were foolish and did not. Staying awake, not in the literal sense of losing sleep but in preparedness, is the order of the Advent Season.

We are reminded to look at the many ways we diligently prepare in our earthly lives. Only a fool would fail to prepare for a hurricane by attentively watching the weather and battening down the hatches. It would be a poor host who was ill prepared when anticipating holiday guests. If, like my own community, there is a contaminated water boil advisory. Do we not boil even the water for washing dishes?

Yet, as detrimental to our well being it would be for us to scoff at weather, important events, or cautionary community announcements how much more important is preparation for the King of Kings?

Seasons like Advent and Lent bring the urgency of preparation even closer to the forefront. After all, the worst disaster imaginable is the loss of Eternal life in Heaven. The ultimate expected Guest is Jesus and the most harmful contamination is the stain of sin on our souls.

Who Is My Neighbor in the World of Today?

In the book of Luke, an expert in the law asks, "Who is my neighbor?" Jesus responds with the parable of the Good Samaritan. His examples guide us through several encounters with an injured man - all with diverse responses. Jesus then turns to the lawyer and asks:

Which of these three, in thy opin ion, was neighbour to him that fell among the robbers? But he said: He that showed mercy to him. And Jesus said to him: Go, and do thou in like manner.

Digging deeper into the basis of this story, I find myself wondering how many minute details are regularly missed when it comes to the coincidental encounters we all experience.

In Search Of Neighbor

Ever since my husband and I temporarily moved into a duplex while our tiny house was completed, the family across the way has intrigued me. Unlike the remote, pastoral surroundings of our new home, here we have close neighbors all around. We have become acquainted with some of them. Like us, the neighbor behind us also has a small dog, with a propensity for escaping her allowable geography, which has given us occasions for casual conversation. Next door, a precocious neighbor toddler is the same age as our youngest granddaughter and across the street, a neighbor dutifully cares for the needs of her aging mother. By chance encounters and common interests, I've found small familiarities with these families.

One neighbor, however, I have not met yet am intrigued by chance observations. Passively sitting in the driveway while the rest of our downsized belongings are loaded onto a small trailer, I ponder on the insight I have gained, just by reflective attention to a few details.

Physical Challenges

If we are willing, there is much to be discerned by a casual glance now and again. This particular neighbor suffers from some debilitating physical ailment. Handicap plates on the car, the glimpse of a wheelchair, and thoughtful placement of a strategically situated side table speaks of someone who loves the outdoors but is confined to the inside while looking out. Sometimes there is a game of chess visible on the little table in front of the gleaming glass door but even so, the preferred vantage point is always outdoors.

Love of Nature

There are robust hanging plants, thriving plants in pots, and a rainbow of vibrant flowerbeds all around the front yard. Their splendid garden features a riot of color. Nurture and care of this Eden are clearly evident.

This neighbor shares my love of animals. A chance glance in his direction gives a glimpse of not one but two cats, casually strolling past the glass door and then luxuriously perching on the sofa. At just about dusk each evening they head out to prowl and do what it is that our feline friends do under the cover of darkness. They quickly return to the welcoming arms of their humans, which indicates they feel loved.

Along with the array of blossoms, foliage, and pampered cats are several bird feeders - finches, robins, and humming birds all have their own specific feeding station. All of this appears to be easily viewable from the carefully arranged furnishings and the glass door.

Our Neighbor Is Tidy And Has Nothing to Hide

Despite the obvious physical challenges faced, the yard and drive are meticulously kept. No offensive litter, neatly clipped grass, and much attention to order are evident in their landscape. Our neighbor portrays a tidy habit.

Open blinds, windows, and doors speak of the candid nature of our neighbor - there is nothing superficial. As open as a book, this person is living a full life despite the burdensome hand they have been dealt. There is a pure appreciation of life evident here and a richness not provided by merely temporal goods. By all appearances this neighbor finds boundless joy, fulfillment, and peace in what he has been given. His cup seems to overflow with an almost enviable God-given plenitude of riches.

Interact With Neighbor

As I sit here today, our last day of inhabiting this bustling neighborhood, I can't help but wonder about the lives of the people we never came to know. Like us, they may be in transition. Some, like the elderly neighbor, are most likely here to stay – as their lives tranquility follow the setting of the sun.

I've spontaneously prayed for these people, as they appeared out of their doorways and enclosures and have marveled at how much God loves each of us no matter how different our lives have been or are destined to be.

Opportunities Missed?

What fruitful opportunities were missed and are now regrettably gone forever? Should I have crossed the street and struck up conversations? In retrospect, I inwardly answer, yes. Would I have found a receptive soul? Perhaps, I could have learned something of benefit to my own Eternity. What is done, is done, but a lesson to take away is to seek out opportunities and not blindly march through our days as single-minded, secluded souls.

The question I ponder now, is how will I present myself as a Godly witness to others? How will I show mercy to a mere acquaintance ? Not in search of worldly praise but as a spiritually positive example of what it means to be a neighbor who is obedient to Christ. Are others' casual impressions of me valid or negatively warped by a lack of transparency or some faulty perception? Even as we seek to live our lives in the best way possible, we are reminded that our lives give witness to neighbor, concerning who we are.

The Painful Punishment of Silence

Silence, they say is golden, yet under some circumstances silence can also be a form of bullying. While the basic needs of mankind include sustenance and shelter God has also endowed us with an intrinsic need for love. That love often relies on communication. We live our lives yearning being heard and understood.

The Quiet Bullying of Silence

There is a healthy use of silence to compose our thoughts and calm anger which can be of great benefit but sometimes an extended period of punishing silence causes pain to the other. In one way or another, we have all used silence as a weapon against another. Showing a cold shoulder or ignoring someone because of some real or imagined indiscretion can be a pain inflicting tactic. Whether a school friend or significant other, sometimes our intent is to inflict the pain of denying the victim our company. In self-righteous fashion, we withhold ourselves from them and leave them with the pain of silence – of being shunned.

Silence as Pride

The sin of pride comes to mind. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), “the root of all sins lies in man’s heart”. (CCC 1873) As we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we recite words that ask God to “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. In calling down the same judgment on ourselves that we hold against others, we should attempt to soften our hearts to the pain of others. Yet in building an artificial distance between ourselves and another, we erect a wall of pain and isolation, one that will cause another to suffer. Again, looking to our own experience we begin to realize that silence does cause pain. The pain of silence becomes apparent when we are the ones who are shunned, unable to plead our case, ask forgiveness, or perhaps even understand the perceived transgression.

Spreading the Pain

Calculated silence takes on a deeper, more hurtful dimension when others are pulled into participation. Emotional blackmail can cause group silence, thus increasing the pain of the one who is cut off. Again our Faith tells us not to err by leading others, or ourselves, into sin.

Refusing to Talk

Sometimes the harshest punishment for some deduced transgression is to say “I don’t want to talk about it”. The injustice of denying communication leaves injuries on both parties that may not even be justified. Allowing an explanation may find the faulty words were much more benign than they were perceived.

Perhaps, though, the words did intentionally inflict pain. After some thought, there was repentance and a desire for forgiveness. However, the barriers built by silence became impenetrable. In situations such as this the injury sustained by both parties, inflicted on their very souls, is harmful. As a recent radio host on Catholic radio explained, repressed emotion – especially anger – can have a harmful effect on both the mental and physical well-being of a person.

The Spiritual Cost

There is also a spiritual cost. Bullying silence can become sinful. If we are admonished to forgive “not just seven times, but seventy-seven times”, then are we not also bound to break the silence and allow another to speak his peace? Since the Lord confused man’s speech due to the Tower of Babel, mankind has struggled with inadequate communication. The least we can do for justice is to give a fair hearing to those who stand accused.

The Bible on Forgiveness

From the Beatitudes to the Lord’s Prayer, we are admonished to be merciful, to forgive, and that our own judgment depends on our judgment of others. Scripture is full of instances encouraging forgiveness but how can there be forgiveness if silence stands in the way?

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

This Lent presents an inspirational opportunity to put the hurt feelings and accusations behind us. As we focus on fasting, prayer, and alms giving, wouldn’t it be a merciful gift to fast from the bullying sin of silence?

Soldier or Saint – Leave No One Behind

In his book, Church Militant Field Manual, Father Richard Heilman relates the Soldier’s Creed of the United States Army.

"I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills."

Military discipline, that which aids these warriors in protecting their country, demands a dogged dedication to developing their strength in the service of others. Without total dedication to the mission of saving and protecting others, the mission of the soldier is destined to fail. That is why the Warrior Ethos practiced by military personnel states:

I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.

Soldier or Saint

In winning the battle against the Evil One, soldiers for Christ must employ a similar strategy. Whether soldier or saint, the necessary component is to go “all in”. This type of dedication and the necessary skill to pull it through are no accident. It is the result of intensive training. A soldier must pledge to advance his mission through self-restraint, commitment, and pride. Our pledge as soldiers in the Church Militant demands the same

As Catholics and members of the Church Militant, we are soldiers for Christ and our mission is clear – the advancement of His Word and the winning of souls. We are called to be our brother’s keeper in the clear sense of being members of the Body of Christ. Sinner or saint, rich or poor, strong or weak – we are all beloved children of God the Father. Our purpose, here on earth, is to bring souls – our own and those of others – to the Eternal Home with Jesus Himself. Being a child of God leaves no room for egocentric self-interest. The Word is there to be shared.

Mission One

Placing the mission first sets the tone for the importance of the goal – saving others. When we seek to participate in the New Evangelization to which Pope John Paul II called us, our focus must not be abandoned. Winning souls for Christ is the pinnacle to which we must be determined to ascend. This requires a dedication that may not come naturally for most of us. Therefore we should pray for strength and success. We must soldier on.

“Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” John 14:13

Refuse Defeat

Yet bringing souls – even our own – to Jesus is no task for the weak. This mission requires a steadfastness and determination not come by naturally. In training for our mission our weapons come from the supernatural: grace, divine inspiration, and the Word of God. Often times we seek to share what we, ourselves, have learned but lack the perseverance to allow others to fully embrace the importance of the mission in their own time. The four Cardinal Virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance play a key part in defying defeat and accompanying others gently into the Light.

“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57 

Never Quit

Discouragement can become our enemy as the Evil One places a lack of resolve onto our weary souls. In order to dig deep into our supernatural reserves we must avail ourselves to the weapons of the Church Militant. Holy Mass and the Eucharist, the Rosary and other devotions, and the examples of those warrior saints who have gone before us will help us in sustaining the fight. As in the Psalm of David we pray, “Answer me quickly, O LORD, my spirit fails; Do not hide Your face from me, Or I will become like those who go down to the pit.

Leave No One Behind

Sustained by the Word of God, fueled by His promise, and spurred by our Spirit-inspired commitment we are able to reject defeat. Imagine what would happen if all members of the Church Militant rose up, with a common purpose, and refused to leave behind any soul within their reach. What is keeping us from joining forces and completing this holy mission?

“We must learn the special operations (special ops) techniques and procedures for search and rescue missions of fallen comrades (those who have become weak in their faith). Although rarely wielded by the Catholics today, this supernatural strength and these techniques are truly authentic gifts of the Church that are field-tested and battle-hardened. We must commit ourselves to their restoration if we ever hope to stem the tide of evil and rescue our lost loved ones who may be destined for eternal damnation.” (Excerpt from Church Militant Field Manual).

The Gift of Unanswered Prayer

We all have things that regularly appear in our prayer petitions. Some are wants, some needs, and some are desires. As the saying goes, “God has three ways to answer our prayers – yes, no, and not now.” Like any good parent, God the Father indulges us but gives preferential treatment to our needs. Sometimes our needs do not correspond with our wants or desires. Then there are times when we need to be patient and wait – the timeline belongs to God

Wants, Needs, and Desires

Wants are the distractions of our souls. We can never get enough of them. Be they money, fame, delicacies, possessions, or admiration, their attainment fails to satisfy. We always want more. Often the want of more is our downfall. Think of gluttony, pride, envy, and the other Deadly Sins. In their extreme sense, they become a mortal sin, requiring confession.

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." (Romans 8:6)

Needs are the essentials that people require to live – nourishment, shelter, clothing, medical care for the sick, and love. Without these necessities, our earthly bodies will soon falter and perish. When we pray for our needs, God hears and helps with these fundamentals. Matthew 6:26 tells us,


“Look at the birds of the heaven, that they sow not, nor reap, nor gather into granaries, and your heavenly Father nourishes them. Are ye not much more excellent than they?”

Desire is the long term range of what we want from our lives. Do we have an important goal, like becoming a saint while here on earth? Is it our desire to serve God while we serve the least of these? Perhaps we feel moved to start a ministry of some sort. If our desire is to live a life pleasing to God, we make sure that we know, love, and serve Him in every aspect of our lives. Then, when we open our hearts to His Word, the path will be illuminated for us.

A Disappointing Response to Prayer

When we receive a response from God, the details might surprise or even disappoint us. If we have the proper disposition, as creature belonging to Creator, we soon begin to realize that a response contrary to our desires may very well be a much better option for our spiritual lives. Surprisingly, it may even be better for our temporal lives as well. All God asks of us is that we keep an open heart and mind. He wants to help us blend His wishes with ours to form us more perfectly for Eternal Life. If we only listen to His call, the prayer answered contrary to our wishes may very well have a wonderful effect - one we never imagined. In any case, making the best of His answers will make for a much more fulfilled life. Father God knows best.

"We are at Jesus' disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim his work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that's all right, everything is all right. We must say, 'I belong to you. you can do whatever you like.' And this is our strength. This is the joy of the Lord." -Saint Teresa of Calcutta

Disappointment for Our Family

My own life gives witness to these truths. Unable to have more children, my husband and I decided to adopt and were chosen by a birth mother. One call we had both deeply felt was to have a house full of children. This fervent desire appeared to be coming true for eight months of the pregnancy. Our excitement was tangible and shared by our other, much older children. As the time drew near, we began to see a change of attitude in the mother - nothing blatantly obvious, just a sense that something vital had changed. When our lawyer made the call for which neither of us was prepared, the tears came in waves for days. Why had we not seen this coming? How did this change of mind come after such a long time? We were devastated.

Fast forward a few years, just when Luke would have been a toddler, I was given a devastating diagnosis - BRCA1 breast cancer. This was not just some take a pill, have a lump removed type of cancer - the gene our family carries has killed every woman in my family - three generations back - at forty to fifty years old. Our lives were turned upside down. From chemotherapy and one surgery after another - one lasting sixteen hours - my outlook appeared bleak. This was a debilitating time in my life - I was as helpless as I had ever been and completely reliant on others. While it was a humbling experience to have my husband and daughter take care of even my most basic functions, there was a joy and love never before experienced.

Had our little Luke come to live with us, I am sure we would have found a way to survive, but knowing he was in a good home helped deal with the empty place in our arms and hearts. Four years later, our daughter was diagnosed with the same cancer. She was twenty-eight years old and twenty weeks pregnant. Again, our lives changed drastically. As I had before her, consultation and surgery took us from Kentucky to Texas. The one-year-old son she already had needed care and days were again filled with nursing a loved one. Times like these find me pondering on the gratitude felt for a loving God the Father, who sees us completely - including our most intimate needs.

Prayer is Dialog

Prayer is an open-ended discussion. It is not akin to asking Santa for some favorite wish or toy. Prayer is an ongoing conversation in which we pose our requests while God tempers our gifts for our own benefit. It is also a lifelong endeavor, allowing us to get to know what our Creator wants for us and an opportunity to work with Him. As the road we travel, here on earth, winds its way this way and that, our needs, desires, and even wants change. As the Master of the Universe, God knows this and sees ahead, down the path of our lives. Where we see only the darkness of an unlit path, He sees fully in the bright light of His love. What we may need tomorrow or next year or five years from now, God already knows. That is why His responses come from a place of pure love – His every move is designed to help us become the best version of ourselves.

The Gift of Unanswered Prayer

If we keep our minds and hearts open to the nuances of God’s hope for us, we will begin to see a pattern. Even as we voice our wants, needs, and desires – we are able to temper our reactions and expectations. We receive the gift of Patience. In the gift of Wisdom, we are able to discern that the more we empty ourselves of corporal attractions, the more open we are to what God has in store for us and the more Fortitude we display as we wait for an epiphany as to what this might be. After all, God the Father knows best.

Advent offers the opportunity for us to empty ourselves and set up room for Him in our hearts. In what is left of this penitent and anticipatory season, let us weigh the significance of our requests. As we discern for ourselves, it would also be a worthy endeavor to focus on the needs, wants, and desires of others during this giving season. May we have an inspirational Advent, leading us to the magnificence of Christmas joy. This is the Gift our Father in Heaven offers to His children - all we have to do is cooperate.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13)

Which Christmas Traditions Help You Become the-Best-Version-of-Yourself?

I've been following Matthew Kelly's 'Best Advent Ever' to discover how to best lead up to experiencing genuine Christmas Joy with my family. During these weeks we have been instructed on how to discover the best version of ourselves - which aspects of our lives to improve, which to reconsider or discard. Today's lesson offers the following:

Our essential purpose is to grow, change, develop, and become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Do your Christmas traditions help you do that? Will they help you prepare for Jesus’ coming? Follow Dominick’s 3-step process to decide which Christmas traditions to keep and which ones to consider eliminating.

Take an inventory of all the habits and traditions that make up your typical Christmas.
Look at each one and determine which ones will help you become the-best-version-of-yourself this Christmas, which ones don’t make a difference, and which ones are just distractions.
Eliminate the things that are just distractions, even if they are fun or old traditions.

This left me pondering about which Christmas traditions are dead weight in my life. We all know that our Christmas preparations can sometimes become overwhelming. As our families grow and change, we may even add more in the way of traditions and activities. But is that what it really takes for the most joyous Christmas ever?

Let me share a few things that have made my Christmas more joyous throughout the years. Some of these changes have been deliberate while others happened due to necessity.

• Some years I don't bake. Yes, I know that's a shocker to most of you but as my family grew and expanded, I realized that my cookies were only a part of the crowd. I have grown children now, who have spouses. While my baking was a source of pride, the need simply wasn't there for more sweets.
• Our menu was also altered for more enjoyment and less duty. After our mother died, we felt duty bound to cook everything she had prepared – plus any dishes added as our family grew. The leftovers would last a week! Now we have honed our menu to include favorites while eliminating overkill. This is better for everyone – less expense, less calories, and less effort. Our meals would still match most Christmas feasts but we have done away with unneeded extravagance.

• We eliminated adult gifting for our extended family Christmas Eve gathering. As the family grew there were many, many children - siblings, cousins, friends. Having even just a name drawing became more chore than joy for the adults. We concluded that we would switch to a "Funny Santa" game with a reasonable price limit. The caveat being that we had to bring a gift we wouldn't mind taking back home with us - no pranks.

• The children each give and receive one gift – the drawing is held on Thanksgiving. To make the children's gift exchange more meaningful, we begin with the youngest and each child is handed their gift by the giver. One gift at a time is presented and there is a 'no rushing' rule. In this way, each child is allowed the joy of both giving and receiving - two 'gifts' in one.

• As more children came along even "Funny Santa" became a stretch, so off it went, never to be practiced again. Watching the child gift exchange is more than enough to satisfy the adults.

• Sometimes we don't go on an official Christmas light excursion. One of the traditions we used to practice was to rent a limousine each year for light viewing. We would pack snacks, cocoa, and provide the driver with our choice of Christmas CDs. These days we may combine a late afternoon grocery run with driving through the local light attraction at a public park and spotting lights on our way home.

Allowing ourselves to let go of things that we cling to out of habit or tradition frees us for keeping and developing more enriching practices. Here are some example of faith building traditions that do we intend to keep:

• Advent Wreath – whether it is a traditional, fresh pine wreath, one made with children’s hand prints, or an artistically fashioned faux wreath, this is a must. We light our candles daily and read a bit of scripture or other text providing a build up to the Nativity.

• Waiting Tree – this was a tradition I introduced when the first of our nine grandchildren were very young. It’s a small, tabletop tree that holds tiny books, hanging from golden threads. Each book contains a portion of the Christmas story - one is read and hung per day.

• Petition Activity – another tradition was started to make Advent more meaningful for little children. One child takes a turn, day by day, to choose a colored clothes pin with a prayer petition on it. This reminds us of those we love or those who are in need.

• Christmas caroling – even if we are unable to sing with a large choir (our parish is quite small), we choose a day for the cousins to get together to sing. We visit the elderly and widowed up and down our rural road to give a bit of cheer to those who might otherwise miss out.

• Advent/Christmas books and movies – each year we purchase another Advent/Christmas themed book or DVD for our collection. While anticipating Christmas, what better way to spend evenings than to share a spiritually themed story or two?

• Confession –whether it’s a local penance service or just a regularly scheduled time, we make sure that we are up to date on our confession. Even with the aim of going once per month, we sometimes fail. During Advent we make sure that we have prepared a proper home for Jesus, when He comes.

As we live amongst the hustle and bustle of the world around us, we sometimes struggle to ‘keep up with the Joneses’. It is only when we set out to prioritize our activities – and even our thoughts – that we are able to become the best version of ourselves. When we find a new way to accomplish this and practice it, our efforts contribute to peace in the family and in the world. As we await Our Lord’s coming, as a little Child, may we find the proper priorities and through them shine His Light for the world.

What are some of your family’s Advent and Christmas traditions? Are you willing to reconsider some of your priorities? Or is your tradition-driven activity already finely honed? Chime in and let us know!

Happy Advent!

We Are the Reason for the Season

As children, many of us enjoyed carefully studying the Highlights pages to find the hidden objects. I remember diligently seeking for each one until all had been found. Our adult lives are like that as well, although our diligence may not mirror that of our childhood.

Seeking the Hidden Objects in Life

The possibilities of finding the hidden are endless. Do we see the poor, hoping for a hand up? Or the lonely, hoping for a smile? How about the misunderstood? Hidden needs and opportunities are only as limited as our ability to see and hear – and feel.

Advent is a time of waiting and preparation. Jesus is coming in the form of a child born of poverty and displacement. He comes to set in motion our very Salvation. As we hustle and bustle around in preparation of gifting, feasting, and fulfillment are we aware of the hidden objects?

As humans, created in the image and likeness of God, have we found our hidden saint? Are we seeking to emulate Him Whose creation we are? Or are we more concerned with our search for that illusive gift or that earthly happiness we all seem to crave?

Seeking for the Reason for the Season

During his homily this past Sunday, our pastor made a surprising statement. He said, “Jesus is not the Reason for the Season – we are.” Jesus’ coming had not so much to do with Him as it did with us and our seeking of the Kingdom. We are on this earth for the sole purpose of seeking the Eternal Promise – the real gift given to us on Christmas, when the Son of Man was born of a virgin. That he later died on the Cross for us and our sins, cemented the deal. Our Eternal life with God rests solely on our persistence in seeking it with our thoughts and actions.

Preparation is Key

Preparation is as important as the destination; without it, we may never find our goal. “We walk over the anniversary of our death each and every year. Let that sink in for a moment. As our pastor shared this tidbit, I must admit that I was taken aback. What a profound statement to make – and yet, so true. As Jesus reminded us in the Gospel of Matthew, “But of that day and hour no one knoweth, not the angels of heaven, but the Father alone.” That statement holds true for both the hour of our death and for the end of time when the Jesus we are seeking comes again.

Are we ready? As we bake, cook, address Christmas cards, and deck the halls, we should keep in mind our eternal preparedness as well. That poor family needs a few groceries. The man who greets us from a wheelchair at the department store could use a bright, sincere smile. The widow a few pews over would love to be remembered by a kind word or thoughtful note. Has our pastor been shown any appreciation lately? We are his family and he selflessly serves us as a representative of Christ Jesus. The possibilities are endless. Our mission as spouse, parent, cousin, and neighbor revolves around sharing the Good News as well. For what we learn, we must share in order to grow the Body of Christ.

Seeking Until We Find

In an ever enduring cycle, Christmas comes and goes every year. What we need to do is find a way to reawaken the wonder that we felt as children. Channeling childlike innocence and reliance on God will help us achieve that goal. If we empty ourselves of selfishness, greed, and distraction we will truly find exactly what and Who it is that we are seeking. In living consciously living Advent in this spirit, we will find the Christmas of our dreams.

“All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity.” All are called to holiness: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (CCC 2013)

The Fr. Pavone Controversy - guest post

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding Fr. Frank Pavone’s video on the 7th day of the Election Novena. This controversy exists on at least three levels: 1) the use of the unborn child’s body, 2) the use of the altar and 3) a priest openly supporting a political party. Honestly, I am wondering why this is such a big deal.

Dignity of the Dead and An Aborted Baby

I don’t see exploitation here. The child was already dead and was being held up as proof of the evils of abortion. Why is using an aborted baby to give witness to the atrocities of abortion undignified? This poor discarded child is dead and being prayed over and held as an example of the evils of abortion. The sight of the dead baby on the altar was difficult to see but the child was in the fetal position, a perfectly dignified position.

Many are citing the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

The bodies of the dead must be treated with respect and charity, in faith and hope of the Resurrection. The burial of the dead is a corporal work of mercy; it honors the children of God, who are temples of the Holy Spirit.

However, in this case, I don’t see where Fr. Pavone treated the child’s body with disrespect or against charity. Yes, the body of a third-trimester child is naked on the altar. Yes, this child has been chemically burned in the ultimate act of disrespect of abortion. Could Fr. Pavone have clothed the child? Of course, but is it necessary? No. This child is a ‘poster-child’ of what abortion really is. It really results in these tiny humans being burned and dispelled from their supposedly ‘safe haven’ of the womb. Yes, it is shocking. Yes, it is horrible.

Sacredness of the Altar

As Catholics, we believe our altars are sacred. Many hold ancient relics from the bodies of saints. The altar is typically used for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass or Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. Fr. Pavone placed this aborted child on the altar and began speaking of how that tiny human was a witness to the atrocities of abortion. I guess I just don’t understand what the big controversy is about; our Pope has even had a beach ball on the altar. Yet, here is a priest who has dedicated his life to defending the unborn making a profound symbolic statement by placing an unborn child who has been sacrificed on the same altar used for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Separation of Church and State

I think what really has people up in arms is that Fr Pavone was brave enough to call out the Democratic Party and candidate based on the issue of abortion. There are arguments based on the fallacy that the Democratic Party wants to make abortion “rare” and thus more pro-life than Republicans. It is the State who is infringing upon the Church. Christian business owners are forced to close down or bow to the LGBT movement. The Democratic Party Candidate herself said the Catholic Church would have to change its moral compass in order to continue in the United States of America. Christians are labeled backward and ignorant, simply for standing up for their Faith. How could a priest not endorse the Party or Candidate standing in defense of religious liberty and life?

Fr. Pavone wasn’t using the dead child for monetary gain nor was he acting as a paid spokesperson for the Republican Party. Fr. Pavone was making the public aware of the evil of abortion. He was speaking the truth about the Republican and Democratic parties and using the Truth from God as well as the truth from these Party Platforms to inform voters.

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Guest Contributor: Erika Vandiver

Erika is a former Forensic Biologist for the State Police with a BS in Molecular Biology. In her almost 10 years as a Forensic Biologist, she developed a respect for law enforcement and assisted in many criminal cases. She is a self-professed biology and Catholic nerd–reading anything and everything in an effort to keep abreast of new revelations. This came in handy when she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer while 20 weeks pregnant. She chose to ignore the doctors’ options of abortion or delaying treatment and instead received chemotherapy while pregnant. She and her little chemo baby girl are alive and well, giving witness to their incredible story. She credits the world-wide Catholic community and the support of her family–especially her husband of 10 years–for the blessing of her daughter’s and own survival. Her miracle baby girl has an older brother as well as four saint-babies in Heaven.

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