Tuesday, April 29, 2014

What Stirs Your Pro-Life Heart? Béatrice Comes Full Circle

It all started twenty years ago with a broken condom. My boyfriend, whom I barely knew, acted “professionally” and instructed me to take the morning after pill. I hesitated: what if I didn’t take it? I realized that I liked the idea of being pregnant but I did as I was told.

The pill didn’t work... I was pregnant! My heart was filled with joy. Like most pregnant women I suppose, I fell in love with my baby. I discovered that day that I was Pro-Life.

My boyfriend didn’t share my happiness and told me to “get rid of that”. Like most men in uncommitted relationships, I suppose, he was Pro-Choice. I didn’t want an abortion but I took the RU486 pill as I was told. I rationalized the decision: poor baby was rejected by her dad but we would have other babies later to replace this one.

The abortion was traumatic and left me with depression and self-hatred and the relationship didn’t last. One day, my ex-boyfriend saw my little sister holding my hand. To my surprise, he said that he regretted the abortion, that we should have a daughter just like her but we had killed her.

That was too much for me to take. I loved our child, yet I ended her fragile, precious life to please the one who got me pregnant. Now he was saying that WE made a mistake? I was overwhelmed with contradictory emotions. I had to do something to block them… so I became Pro-Choice.

For the next thirteen years, I lived the Pro-Choice lie. I repeated to myself that abortion was a necessary evil, that the unborn is just a clump of cells. Those lies were in contradiction with my instincts and I swore to myself that, while it was OK to support it for others, I would never have an abortion again.

I found myself in an abusive relationship and pregnant. I didn’t want an abortion, I just wanted the man out of my life. But I was scared for the child, and the devil whispered in my ear that abortion was the only solution to protect my son from his abusive father. So I stained my soul again and I continued to lie to myself to be able to survive. Who was I kidding? I gave death to my children instead of life and I didn’t want to live anymore.

When I met my future husband (the first Pro-Lifer I have ever encountered), I was broken and fierce, anti-God and anti-life but he loved me anyways. With his support, I found the courage to face the truth: two children had died by my “choice” and I needed to grieve and deal with my emotions.

I have learned to forgive myself, those involved and to love again. I was restored and I came full circle. I gave birth to four children. I know that I’m where I’m supposed to be, the woman God intended me to be.

Behind a prickly post-choice woman, there is often a wound that needs to be healed, there is a lie that cries for truth, there is darkness that craves light. Being Pro-Life means not only supporting pregnant women but also listening to women who had an abortion and point to that healing, to that truth, to that light.

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This guest post was written by Béatrice Fedor who blogs at www.400wordsforwomen.com and speaks up for the Silent No More Awareness CampaignIt is one of a series of guest posts, written by women who answered my question: What stirs your pro-LIFE heart?

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I am One of the Faces of Abortion - My Face Looks Just Like Yours

The face of the pro-life movement is as varied as the stories of the people who advocate for life. Many of us have been personally touched with a story that shaped our lives - and our drive. The reason for my involvement and fervor is relatively easy to surmise. Having lived through being 14 and Pregnant, the issue was with me from my early teen years, throughout adulthood and into present time. Lately, I've been curious to find out what drives others. Through the blessing of electronic media, I've made so many pro-life friends and they all have amazing stories to tell. Below you will find one such story. Don't be surprised if this doesn't become a series of posts!

Emily's Story 

Hi there, my name is Emily. If you saw me, you’d never know. I look like anyone else.

That’s the thing about Abortion. It’s silent. It’s deadly. It’s a lie that preys on women. Women are told , "Your life will be better". "You are “getting rid of your problem”. “ But the problem is just beginning for them. And these women, they are your neighbors. They are in your churches. You just never know who has been hurt by this.

When Birgit asked me to participate I said yes. But I hate this topic. It is embarrassing and degrading and so sad for me. It is my cross to bear, this mistake I made 31 years ago (32 this November 10th)…. it forever changed me and made me who I am in many ways.

I am staunchly Pro-Life and against abortion because I lived it. I lived with the damage to my mind, body and soul. I live with the knowledge that what I did makes me a murderer. I know that I am forgiven. I know God forgave me long before I forgave myself. And so I speak out on this today because I AM ONE OF THE FACES OF ABORTION. My face looks just like yours.

I was 19. Roe Vs. Wade was only 9 years past. I can still tell you almost 32 years later everything that happened on November 10th, 1982. I’ll never forget it. I’ll never forget the smells and the people I met. The girl who was having her 5th abortion. The doctor who didn’t want to perform it on me because I was so hysterical. The people yelling murderer, instead of “can I help you change your mind?” The boyfriend who thought putting a stereo in my car would somehow make up for what I’d done (never mind that he was abusive). The fact that my dad said if I ever got pregnant he’d keep the baby and throw me out. He didn’t mean it, but I didn’t know that then. And the fact that I had to spend a week in the hospital fighting the infection from this choice I made.

I can’t forget it. I have to find a way to help others not make the same decision I did.

Last Summer, I went to Austin to testify in the ProLife fight against Wendy Williams and her ProAbortion stance. We were really fighting to pass prolife bills. But she made it all about her. She stated that she was representing Texas Women. But she would not let any of us ProLife women post on her FaceBook page. Um – we are Texans. Many are her constituents. Sigh.

Here is a blog post where I tell my story. I hope you will read it.


Thursday, April 17, 2014

"I Love You Anyway" - When a Gay Friend Expects Approval

I have a friend. She struggles with same sex attraction (SSA). Today, she wrote another excellent post; this time addressing those who 'come out' and expect across the board approval. Take a look and you'll realize that it's acceptable, even demanded, to love our homosexual brethren - but not their actions toward these tendencies. Drawing the line at an active homosexual lifestyle is the proper Catholic Christian response. "I love you anyway"

"No, today Christians are expected to actively celebrate homosexuality or we’re branded a “hater” or “bigot.”" ~author

This excellent and Catholic approach to an SSA friend can be found here: An Open Letter to My Gay Sister