In Defense of the Veil

This Mother's Day will mark the fourth year since my adult daughter and I made the personal decision to practice the devotion of veiling. Much thought, prayer, and discernment went into this decision. 

As our anniversary of wearing a veil approaches, I'd like to share an open letter. It was originally intended for someone specific but I refrained from sending it in order to avoid discord. Publishing it now, a year or two later, as an open letter will serve to offer an inside look into the devotion - what it is and what it isn't. The aforementioned letter follows:

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 Greetings!

While I am in no way attempting to change your mind, I do feel that some misconceptions need to be addressed. Please share these thoughts with your advisors.
Wishing you a blessed Holy Week.

Yes, veiling is a personal devotion. Yet it is quickly growing as a more common practice. In fact, mainstream national Catholic publications regularly publish articles about the call to veil. This is indicative of a growing interest and trend. The sale of veils is also rapidly trending upward – something I know because of my contact with several veiling companies.

For many women, veiling increases the full active and conscious participation in the Eucharist. Coming together as a community of believers, is not in conflict with also experiencing a very intimate encounter with Christ. Both are appropriate and desirable for full participation in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

The original exhortation by St. Paul was not concerned with covering physical beauty. He advocated veiling as a means of equalizing all women, since ostracized women didn’t veil. In covering all women and uncovering all men, St. Paul also emphasized our equal but differing roles. In addition, he proposed veiling as a sign of deference to the presence of the Holy Angels, who attend the Eucharistic Sacrifice of the Holy Mass.

Further, there are many facets to this devotion. The pursuit of modesty in front of our God is also an important consideration. Especially in modern times, when women reveal too many of their physical attributes, it brings to mind the respect and God-given dignity we posses. While some may make a negative judgment, in practice I have found many priests, deacons, and other faithful who welcomed the respect it affords women.

Surely we’re not suggesting that women in the 60’s, prior to the Second Vatican Council, covered their heads for modesty’s sake in everyday life. Other than wearing hats as a matter of fashion, they did not cover at all – except for when in the Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.

However, this was not the only reason veils were (or are) worn. Other motivations include emulation of Mary the Mother of God, personal submission to Jesus Christ, in deference to the Church’s practice of veiling all worthy vessels (women are after all life-bearers), and a tangible appearance of modesty in feminine beauty.

Although the submitted article shares my personal reasoning, it speaks of the reasoning attributed to the increasing number of women who are continually making this decision. Personal devotions, after all, are also to be respected and are shared by many. To this day women who attend the Extraordinary Form of the Mass, little girls receiving the Eucharist for the first time, and brides – all wear veils – exactly for some of the reasons I have given. 

To those who practice the devotion, the wearing of the veil is a physical reminder of the True Presence just as a scapular, medal, or other sacramental evokes a rapt attention to the Holy. After all, even though there is no longer a requirement to veil, veiling itself is still biblical (1 Cor 11) and was emphasized by many of the Church Fathers as an important act of reverence. Today, it’s simply a respected option.

Blessings,
Birgit Jones

My hope in making this unpublished and unsent letter public is twofold. First, I'd like to hope that any woman who is discerning the devotion of wearing a veil finds encouragement and fortitude. Perhaps my words, the spiritual benefit experienced by those of us who do veil, and a bit of insight will ward off misconception and fear.

Secondly, I am sharing because it illustrates that my daughter and I made the right choice - for us. In recognizing that the call to veil doesn't resound in every woman, it is equally necessary to acknowledge that veiling is a beloved devotion to some of us. May we all give the respect we all deserve.

Blessed to be Back!

November has been a trying month for yours truly. What was, for most unwilling victims, a simple 24-hour stomach virus turned out to be a life-threatening illness. What made this particular episode so dangerous remains a mystery - I don't have a compromised immune system, nor is it unusual for my grandchildren to come visit, bearing the type of germs common to most younger school-age children.

Apparently Potassium is Necessary for Life

Things I learned: dangerously low potassium levels will wreak havoc on heart and liver. Without going into details, I'll just share that I spent a harrowing weekend, 5 days in the hospital, and 3+ weeks of recuperating before getting back to my (almost) normal self.

Pondering the preciousness of life and how quickly it can elude us, was a welcome, much needed lesson. There was plentiful time for prayer, meditation, and prolonged analysis of the priorities of life. As always, my family and friends were a great moral and spiritual support - I give heartfelt thanks for them.

Murphy's Law

As Murphy's Law would have it. We also sold our house and moved during this period. There's nothing like having a lawyer, real estate agent, and nurses present in your hospital room, while you sign legal documents. Being of little use while others pack up and move your household is also a humbling experience. Thanks to a faithful husband, dedicated daughter, powerfully strong son, and amazing sister it was all completed within our allotted two week timeframe.

The Holy Spirit Steps In

At the time of my illness, another son and his wife were in New York City because he was a participant in the New York Marathon. Not wanting to worry them, they had not been told I was ill right away. Imagine the awe of the moment we discovered that his wife had lit a candle in front of Saint Brigid (Birgit) for me! When they returned from the cathedral, they learned I was in the hospital. What a moment of grace!

Saint Brigid, pray for us!

As I slowly get back to day to day life and obligations, the importance of Our Lord Jesus Christ King of the Universe is not lost on me. He sustains us and He alone is the Author of Life. He gives us what we need - when we need it. He is all we need. To Him be the glory!

Scarlett or Saint?

A recent essay entitled, Strap on Your Bib, It’s Time for Humble Pie, contemplates our need for humility and childlike trust in God. When we 'let go and let God', we're admitting that it's not ours to resolve the tempestuous aspects of our lives. Like Peter, walking across the sea to Jesus, we aren't in control. But, in his weakness of faith, Peter knew to call out to Jesus for help. Our own fallen human nature often brings us to a spasm of fear so paralyzing that we shy away from the very One in Whom our safety lies.

We aren't particularly unusual in this frail human reaction. Therefore, scripture continually admonishes us to offer our trials and fears to Jesus. The same Jesus Who gave His very life for us. 

The Lord is my firmament, my refuge, and my deliverer. My God is my helper, and in him will I put my trust. My protector and the horn of my salvation, and my support.  Psalm 18:2

Finding the wherewithal to do this, however, is not an easy task. Our mortal, life-preserving instincts all too often send us in the opposite direction – fleeing away from His assistance. 

When we are finally spent - having fled away from the things we fear and breathless - the exhaustion we feel blunts our emotions. It’s then that we're able to resist the eerie pull of terror.

But is this faith? Or is it an attitude of "I'll think about it tomorrow"? The answer lies in our will. Do we thrust those abysmal fears away, into the deep and dark recesses of our minds – hidden from all but our subconscious mind? Or to we bring them to the glaring light of day and then offer them to God?

The answer to that question will show whether we are successfully working toward being a saint – or imitating Scarlett O’Hara, from the 1936 novel Gone With the Wind.

“I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.” Scarlett

If we deny ourselves the opportunity to faithfully present our fears to God the Father, we are doing nothing more than repressing our trials for another day. On the other hand, if we face them head on, we are putting our faith and childlike trust into the all-powerful Hand of God.

“I can do all these things in him who strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

Strap on Your Bib for Some Humble Pie

Never say never. That’s what they have always said. And how true it is – both in this world and regarding Eternal Life!

If you’re beyond a certain age and have children, you may already have experienced the phenomenon of becoming your parents. As a child, you resented their constraints and swore never to replicate that which had you straining at an imaginary leash. Your children, however, see a much different you. You, their parent, are full of odd sayings and rules and boundaries. Because you’ve grown, both in experience and knowledge, you are now able to see the wisdom of restraint.

Now might be a great time to thank your parents!

As parents, you might also have been on the receiving end of your share of humble pie. Maybe your first foray into tending to God’s little souls found you with pliable, obedient children. Your self-worth (and pride) moved up a notch or two – because you knew how to parent. If only those other parents out there would use such proven methods, you thought. The arrival of a subsequent child or two might have had you singing a rather more humble song. You see, not all children get the memo. Great, tried and true, parenting skills aside, they march to a much different drummer.

Grab your fork – humble pie time!

Our adult life doesn’t go unscathed by the copious supply of humble pie either. Have you ever said, “well, I’d never… (Fill in the blank)”, only to find yourself at the crossroads of rock and hard place? Unforeseen circumstances sure have a way of keeping us humble. What we once viewed as incomprehensible, may now be our best available course of action.

Humble pie!

So it goes with our spiritual life as well. Peter had a taste of humble pie when he asked Our Lord to lead him out onto the water, toward Him. All of his bravado quickly faded as he perceived the reality of what he had requested. In saying he would never deny Jesus, the huge helping of humble pie served by his three-fold denial must have been chastening, to say the least. Yet, even though we’ve read and heard about his betrayal multiple times, we all too often fall into doing the unthinkable ourselves.

It’s time for humility, closely associated with the Cardinal Virtue of Temperance.

When life hands us an unexpected trial, we are cast into doubt and fear. All semblance of hope fades and we become afraid. All this even though, He who clothes the lilies and feeds the sparrows, has promised us His Shelter from any storm.

When will we learn? That depends on us and our free will. How hard are we willing to work toward complete trust? Will we be able to ‘let go, and let God’ when it comes to our most difficult trials? The answer lies in our motivation. Even then, our human nature can lead us into falling back into desperation at any time. The feeling that we’re flying without a net is contrary to our mortal sense of self preservation. Spiritual strength, a determined will, and spiritual exercises are a great way to begin to overcome our human frailty and doubt.

As my own life leads my family into unchartered waters, I’ve taken the counsel of a good priest. A heightened prayer life, along with inspirational reading was his healing guidance. As he put it, “sometimes we need to read for inspiration, rather than information”. He knows me well! It’s time to supplement my studious side with some spiritual reading. At the request of Father I will be readingConsoling the Heart of Jesus, by Father Gaitley. My goal? To find the spiritual strength and child-like trust to offer myself completely to Him Who created me. In humbling myself to God, I choose to consent to Him as He steers me toward the true path. I pray I won’t falter.

Be humbled in the sight of the Lord, and he will exalt you. (James 4:10)

What are some of the ways you’ve been served a heaping helping of humble pie? What can you share to help others on their path toward successfully giving themselves to God?