Mom's Mistakes Strengthened Our Faith

The Catechism of the Catholic Church upholds the biblical directive that parents are the first (and most important) teachers of their children. What we often fail to realize is that what we do can have much more effect on our children than what we say or how we instruct. Who hasn’t seen one of their less than desirable actions or words mimicked by a child and felt a sudden blush of guilt? Sometimes, though, a child learns an important lesson from the mistakes in a parent’s life, and how they rise to the occasion. That was the case for me.

Mom, little brother and I - before he was taken.

Born in Germany, to a Lutheran father and Catholic mother, my earliest memories revolve around spirited fights between my parents. Although Mom was devout, he approached atheism, but she somehow managed to have my younger brother and I baptized as infants. It became painfully evident that my father was not a nice man. He cheated even before marriage and was abusive as well. Too young to fully understand the implications then, as I matured and later became an adult, the woeful tale became clearer. Long before I could fully comprehend it all, he left, covertly spiriting my younger brother away and leaving my mother as a divorcee with a young daughter. Through all of this turmoil, my mother maintained her faith.

By the time I was five, someone new had entered the picture. This American Airman was kind and gentle. I fondly remember playing circus, with him carrying me on his back, while my mother warmheartedly looked on. Things don’t always work out neatly, however. Red tape and language barriers between the Air Force, the United States government, and Germany greatly hindered attempted annulment proceedings. As a result, a civil marriage was performed and then a little sister was born into the family. I can still remember hearing that my baby sister had been denied baptism because she was born into an illicit marriage. My mother, however, tenaciously persisted and found a kindly old priest to confer the sacrament. To complete the family unit, I was also adopted and became the daughter of an American. By this time, any efforts to reunite us with my little brother had been exhausted. Our family of four moved to the U.S. without him; he could not be found.

Fast forward a few years, after assignments to several states and retirement from the Air Force, we settled in Dad’s native Kentucky. We had become a family of seven—Mom, Dad, and a collection of five children. There was still no annulment, but we had never lacked catechesis. We were all baptized, received First Holy Communion, Confirmation, and were frequently taken to Confession. The poignant vision of our mother, tears of joy (for us) and pain (for her situation) was impossible to ignore at each of these special occasions. As each of us matured in the faith life as Catholic citizens, she was our teacher, our champion, and immovable anchor. We never missed Mass, attended Catholic schools when available, and had priest friends who frequently visited our home. For all practical purposes, we appeared to be the optimal Catholic family, with one exception —our parents were unable to join us in an actively Catholic life.

All of that changed one beautiful October afternoon, when after a long, tedious, multi-linguistic annulment process, Mom and Dad were married in the Church. Our small church community and five children were present. The long awaited celebration of love and faith had finally become reality! After the reception, we decorated our family station wagon with cans and ribbons. The sign on the back read, ‘Congratulations, Mom and Dad—Just Married!’

A few years later, we were reunited with my missing brother, now an adult. He had been raised to think his father’s wife was his mother. It wasn’t until her death that he was told the truth: “She wasn’t your real mother. Your mother lives somewhere in Kentucky.” What a reunion that was! At last, all eight of us were united! It was a true lesson in faith, love, and hope. Our mother had surely illustrated a strong faith in the face of adversity. Mom died of breast cancer a few years later, at the young age of 58. Yet, she had been an incredible witness to us. She lived through many trials but never lost her faith. She even met her estranged husband at one point and offered her forgiveness. His comment to her? “There was one thing I could never break—your Catholic faith. I always respected that.” Her years of persistent love and hope had culminated in a family strengthened by adversity. She had illustrated, with her very life, what it means to live your Catholic faith.

All of us are adults now, with children and even grandchildren of our own. The Catholic faith persists as the most important thing in our lives. We have learned, from loving example, what it means to stay faithful—no matter where your choices lead you. Mistakes will be made but how you face the resulting strife, determines who you are. If nurtured and fed, Faith will always win out!

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Note: How My Mother's Mistakes Strengthened My Faith was first published at CatholicStand.com

When Fathers Day Isn’t Happy

Sometimes the ideal set forth by a day of celebration doesn't reflect your personal reality. The picture perfect vision of a Dad who has stood by you from the moment of your birth may not be a part of your experience. In this situation, a day set aside for celebrating fond memories might evoke pain and sadness instead. While those of us who suffer from a particular lack in our lives might find ourselves pondering the what if’s of the ideal, we don’t begrudge those whose experience reflects that which has not been gifted to us.

Fathers Day is one such day for me. I've had two fathers in my life. The first, was a painful reminder that not all marriages are made in heaven. His actions toward my mother, his taking of my little brother, and leaving me behind – all of this shaped my life but (thank God) didn't stunt my ability to love and feel loved. The second father came into my life when I was the daughter of a divorced mother who had been deprived of raising her first son – his father had spirited him away and he was not to be found.

Dad came along and adopted me and all seemed right with the world. My childhood, my five siblings, our family life, and adulthood – they all reflected a seamless adaptation to this family, brought together by mutual love and caring.

All that changed when our mother died at the young age of 58. Although we were all adults (the youngest was 21), we had grown up in a vibrant home filled with love and togetherness. We were the family all other families strove to be – lively, loving, and always actively living life to the fullest. What we didn't realize was that Mom had been the sole catalyst. As my youngest brother describes it, May 4, 1994 was the day Mom and Dad died. It changed our lives forever.

Even as adults we seek the comfort of the familiar. If we’re lucky, our family never loses this quality. For those of us who aren't so fortunate, the pain suffered can be almost debilitating. That’s where I stand on a day like today – Fathers Day 2014. While I relish the father my dearest husband has been to our children and am proud of the fathers our sons have become, the little girl in me longs to recover that which has been lost. 

A father, who walks away from his adult children (and their children and grandchildren) to another family may not produce the same type of damage as if had he acted thus at an earlier time, yet his rejection is still felt painfully and fully by his adult children. To have the same man who gave warm hugs, piggy back rides, and solace in times of tragedy walk away, severing all ties, is to have a hole in your heart – a longing of all of those days gone by. Unlike the holding close to fond memories of a parent who has died, this pain is different. Knowing he exists, however out of reach he may be, is to be tormented by the reality of rejection every day.

Scary face from happier times. <3

Happy Fathers Day, Dad. I’m missing you today and pray you are well. Perhaps someday…

5 Catholic Gifts for Dad

Tomorrow is Fathers Day and dads all over the country will receive cliche gifts - ties, beer, barbecue tongs, or shirts - just to name a few. Please don't be offended, I've been there too. Of course there will also be the handmade coupons and heartwarming drawings from their adoring little fans. But what if we encouraged our offspring to gift Dad with a more Catholic gift? Wouldn't that benefit both Dad and the kids? Faith in the family is so very important and Fathers Day is a perfect opportunity to remind all of its members of the importance of the spiritual head of the household. In keeping with this theme, I have listed five suggestions below. Of course, the possibilities are as vast as the unique nature of each family.

1. Have a Mass said for Dad - perhaps for his birthday or the feast day of his patron saint. This often neglected gift of the most perfect prayer can fit into most any occasion. What better way to tell Dad how much you love him and desire his eternal happiness?

2. Give him a spiritual bouquet. How about having the children make a card or coupons, listing the special prayers to be offered up for his eternal soul? Older children could offer a Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet, while 'littles' could recite the prayers they know best. This gift could be presented with however much creativity (cards and pictures) or simplicity (just tell him your intention) as is characteristic for your family.

3. Does Dad have a favorite saint? Or perhaps a patron for whom he was named? Give him a holy card or a small statue of this saint. Be sure to have it blessed for him. He can display this on his desk or an area of the house he frequents. Not only will he be reminded to pray for the intercession of his saint, his heart will also be warmed each time he sees this reminder of how much he is loved - that his eternal soul is important to his family.

4. Make a date with Dad - go to a weekday Mass or Adoration. Create an atmosphere of devotion to Jesus while also sharing a special spiritual time with him. This could be coupled with lunch or a picnic in the park. Make it a joyful event, sharing what's most important in life - family and eternity.

5. Create a list or scrapbook outlining how Dad is the spiritual head of your household. Have each family member describe how he helps them grow - spiritually. This could be a simple video (iPhone anyone?) of each child speaking in his own words or a written note, gathered into a little booklet. Let Dad know how important he is to the family as you travel the road to Heaven - together, as a family.

I hope this little list will inspire you to share your thoughts with the Dad, Granddad, godfather, or any other male who is an inspiration to you. Don't forget that many of these ideas would also be appropriate for your priest - lest the part they play in our spiritual lives be forgotten.

"...For [priests], it is pastoral paternity, spiritual fatherhood, but this is still giving life, this is still becoming fathers."  ~ Pope Francis

God bless and Happy Fathers Day!

A New Priest, Nigerian Praise Songs, and Pentecost

Today, Pentecost, was an amazing faith experience for our parish. Newly ordained Father Emmanuel Cyril Udoh celebrated his Mass of thanksgiving with us. Fr. Emmanuel is from Nigeria and we have shared in his vocation as he came to us as a seminarian, then became a deacon, and finally a fully ordained priest. It's been a blessing to watch him grow in confidence as he was able to more fully minister to us as he strode confidently toward priesthood. His homilies were so inspiring and he always shared a beautiful smile - looking directly into one's eyes as those who are pure in spirit are prone to do.

Fr. Emmanuel's family - mother, father, sister - as well as a close friend joined us today. It was my husband's turn to lector, wearing his read tie, and our daughter sang joyfully about the Holy Spirit in the choir. I felt fully immersed, in a tangible way, in this beautiful day. How fitting that it was Pentecost! Father spoke of language barriers and shared that his homeland boasts a total of 250 native languages. Neatly, he tied in the multi-lingual miracle of Pentecost with the universality of the language of love. Genuine love honors no barriers - language or otherwise. It is something everyone understands.

As the Mass came to an end, we had the opportunity to speak with the Udoh family and then later share a brunch celebration with them. After the meal, our parish presented Fr. Emmanuel with a sick call set - engraved with his name and date of ordination. To our amazement, his family spontaneously broke into a song of thanksgiving! Later when the cards and notes from parishioners were presented, we were again treated to an outburst of song. The pure joy and unapologetic praise was something I will never forget. What a pleasure it has been to get to know this young man. He has all the markings of making a holy priest and a gift to those who are privileged to know him. We, the people of the parish of St. Elizabeth, are blessed to be among them.

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(L) Father posed with his father, mother, youngest sister, and good friend. (R) Erika and I put him to work right away by having him bless our handmade veils and bracelets.

Since I noticed that Mrs. Udoh covers during Mass and I make veils, I gave her a very special chapel veil that I made for Easter. Upon receiving the gift, she insisted on having our photo taken together. As you can tell from the result, some others were eager to be included in the moment as well.

Be sure to check out their wonderful praise songs in the videos below.

 

Father Emmanuel receives his sick call set from one of the parish council members.

His parents react to cards and notes from parishioners from St. Elizabeth.

Memorial Day - All Gave Some, Some Gave All

I've been reminded by those who know from painful experience, that this day - Memorial Day - is not National Picnic Day, or Get Drunk at the Lake Day, or Shopping Extravaganza Day or even Veterans Day. Memorial Day honors those soldiers who gave all - their very lives - in service to our country. We owe them a debt of gratitude that cannot be repaid - except maybe by our sincere prayers for their souls and for the loved ones they left behind. We honor them by remembering their sacrifice.

So go ahead, enjoy yourself. Bask in the freedom, sunshine, and camaraderie. But never forget at what expense these have been won and preserved for you. Only Jesus shows us a more perfect example...

For God so loved the world, as to give his only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in him, may not perish, but may have life everlasting. John 3:16

Betrayed - Exposing the Anti-Girl Agenda of the Girl Scouts

What fuels your Pro-LIFE drive? Jane, Lifetime Member and one of four generations of Girls Scouts in her family, answers with a tragic tale of betrayal.

Betrayed

Guest Post by Jane Petry

The issue of life has always been important to our family. Even though important, none of us had truly spoken out in a public arena. All of this changed when I received an email from C-FAM Austin Ruse regarding the Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood. This email spoke to me as a Lifetime Member of the G.S., four generations of our family were in fact members of the Girl Scouts.

Being betrayed by the G.S. was a blow to me personally. I had become a GS in the second grade and went on to earn the highest of all awards which is the now Gold Award. As a Catholic G.S. our troop, led by my mother, was the first group in St. Louis to receive its Marian Award. Our three daughters also earned this award. I was the Troop Organizer, Troop Consultant and leader of girls for more than 15-years. My husband helped with council events and stood with me as I was awarded medals for my work on the Catholic Committee. I dedicated 30-years to that committee in the St. Louis Archdioceses working with girls.

I was a proud Girl Scout, yet willful blindness never really entered into my thinking. I could no longer defend and promote a group, which was dear to my heart, when I realized it was in fact anti-girl. I, as a matter of fact felt guilt that I had unknowingly, as a mother, influenced our daughters. One of our daughters in fact even worked for the Girl Scout Council and later became a Girl Scout troop leader and a Boy Scout Den mother. Another daughter, as a TV news reporter, promoted stories regarding the G.S. and its program, Beyond Bars, and accompanied girls to a prison to visit their mothers. This daughter also sat on a task force for girls and hosted the Gold Award ceremony. We were proud and we were Girl Scouts. Soon granddaughters were added to the list of now four generations of Girl Scouts.

This all ended and my goal became one of exposing their agenda to all. This is not an easy message for a group with years of respect. I knew the indoctrination power this group had, could in fact, have an adverse effect on our culture. Certainly, this new intent and program of the G.S. was not in keeping with our Catholic faith. My Girl Scout background enabled me to soon learn that the G.S.’s new Journey Program had been developed to be a cult. I also knew that the wonderful leaders in our Catholic parishes would never consider implementing this most hideous agenda with their girls. Sadly the Girl Scout Program no longer consisted of badge work, as in prior years, and the majority of troops were only a social club. Unknowingly, parents fed the G.S. promotion of abortion agendas and sexual promotion. Each innocent child that was registered and each box of cookies sold, in fact, fed the evilness of which the Girl Scouts had become. It was clear the organization had become a liberal, progressive, feminist organization intent on changing all that moral parents hold to for their daughters.

Mahatma Gandhi gives us this: First they ignore you...Then they laugh at you...Then they fight you...Then, you win.

I was asked by someone unnamed, “Jane, why are you doing this?” I simply said, “I had not figured out how to tell God no.” There are a number of courageous women involved in this grass roots effort to save our girls. What, as parents and leaders, do we say to our girls if we allow them to be a part of this group that is now known for its lack of morals and values? Our Lord gives us his word as to the consequences of leading a child to sin.

I have said from the start and each day in prayer; Lord let your will be done. I have seen the tremendous power of prayer as that plan has played out beyond the vision of anyone working on this could have imagined. Truly, this has been God’s plan. We are only laborers in his vineyard. To have been chosen is a gift and I proudly accept the challenge. All for the Glory of God.

In His Name,
Jane E. Petry

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For more information about how girls are being betrayed by the Girl Scouts, check out the following links:

Honest Girl Scouts - See a state by state listing of corruption in the Girl Scouts.

RUSE: The Girl Scout Sex Guide - Washington Times
Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood - YouTube video of GS CEO, admits connection of GS and Planned Parenthood - in her own words. 
Girl Scouts Face Abortion Controversy - Breitbart - 

"The documentary shown to the Girl Scouts celebrates abortion, lesbian sex, and sexual freedom. The PBS trailer of the film includes an older woman laughing about faking orgasms--not entirely the kind of thing the family would sit down and watch while dunking Tagalongs into a glass of milk."
“The documentary ends by proclaiming the women’s movement an ‘unfinished’ revolution which must be spread worldwide,” reports Hasson.

Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood: Are the Cookies Finally Crumbling? - Heavily linked/sourced article from Catholic Stand. This was also shared by major Catholic publications.

100 Questions for the Girl Scouts - Many links and examples.

Speak Now Girl Scouts - This group works to expose the GS. Many examples.

My Girl Scout Council 

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Betrayed - Exposing the Anti-Girl Agenda of the Girl Scouts is the latest installment of guest posts in reply to my question, "What fuels your pro-LIFE drive?" 

The other posts in this series are:

I am One of the Faces of Abortion - My Face Looks Just Like Yours

What Stirs Your Pro-Life Heart? Béatrice Comes Full Circle

Pro-Life Science: The Path of Greatest Resistance

You can also read my personal testimony here: 

14 and Pregnant - Is My Life Ruined?

Veiling and You: 5 Things Catholic Boys and Girls Should Know

The devotion of wearing a veil is seeing a definite upswing throughout the country. This is evidenced by first time sales by veiling companies as well as the rapid growth of veiling groups in social media. One such group to which I belong, has seen its numbers grow from 10 to 700+ - since February! Lively discussions, education, and camaraderie are seen on a daily hourly basis. Today, one of the ladies posed a question:

I'm thinking my daughter and I will wear full veils this weekend. Any tips on veil apologetics for a 6 year old?

Her question was the perfect catalyst to set me into action. I wanted to include young men in the discussion because they should also be made aware. After all, we are training them to respect women and their special place in God's plan. This may be an evolving list, but here are five ideas I can readily share:

1.) Women are very special in the eyes of God. He made them to nurture new life and to be the complimentary (different, yet equally important) partner to men. The most special woman ever born was Mary, the Mother of God. God asked something very difficult from her - he wanted her to be the mother of His Son, Jesus. When she said 'yes' to Him, she showed us how we should react when we are asked to do something for God. If you look at pictures or statues of Mary, you will see that she has her head covered with a veil. One of the ways we can try to be like her is to do the same. Saying 'yes' to God, no matter what He asks, and showing that we understand He created us in a special way by wearing a veil, are two ways we can honor Him.

2.) Since women and girls are special and want to honor God, they should show respect when they go to His house. When we go to an important place or have a special occasion in our lives, we dress a certain way. We wear our very best on Easter, Christmas, birthdays, and weddings. When we go to God's house (church), we are certainly going somewhere very important! That's why we should do our very best to give honor to God by looking our best. In addition to wearing their best clothing, women and girls can also show Him how much they love Him and His mother by wearing a veil.

3.) Notice things in the church itself. You will see that the altars are decorated with flowers and candles. We have beautiful statues and Stations of the Cross. We also see that holy things are often covered. During Holy Week, the statues and crucifix are covered with a veil. The Eucharist, which is Jesus Himself, is also covered when not being given to the people during Holy Communion. Even the tabernacle has a veil behind its doors - to show how special the Contents are. As the beautiful flowers in God's garden, women and girls can put on a veil to show that they know they are His.

4.) Wearing a veil can also be a big help when we are trying very hard to concentrate during Mass. Do you ever notice that sometimes you feel distracted and start daydreaming during Mass? Maybe someone beside you is fidgeting or maybe there is something else going on that keeps you from your prayers. Wearing a veil can keep you on track - just like using Rosary beads to pray can keep you focused on what you're supposed to be doing.

5.) Wearing a veil whenever you're in church is a way to show what's going on inside (your thoughts, prayers, and love of God), on the outside. The priest wears his vestments to show us that he is acting in the person of Christ during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Married people wear a wedding ring to show that they belong to each other. Religious sisters and nuns wear habits to show that they have given their lives to Jesus. Wearing a veil shows that a woman or girl belongs to God. It helps others see that they are serious about doing what God wants them to do.

I hope this brief list will help begin a fruitful discussion of veiling with your children. Please share any other thoughts in the comment section below. If you know of someone who is contemplating the devotion of veiling, feel free to share this post. God bless!

5 Memes (and Counting) for Moms - Mothers Day Weekend Tweetfest

In the spirit of appreciation for Mothers on this Mothers Day weekend, I'd like to share some thoughts about Motherhood with you - in picture form. A recent post, 14 Things Catholic Mom Want to Tell You About Themselves, by Catholic Sistas inspired my creative side. Please consider participating with my friends and me by joining the Mothers Day tweetfest - use the hashtags #CatholicMom and #MothersDay.

Here are a few of my favorites so far:

 1. Motherhood is Fun!

2. Motherhood starts at fertilization

3. Motherhood means an open heart!

4. Motherhood is a blessing - submitted by 400WordsforWomen.com

5. Motherhood is comforting.

6. Motherhood cares for others before self.

7. A mother's heart is a sturdy shelter.

Add caption

8. Motherhood is timeless.

9. Seeing the world through your children's eyes - ~Submitted by Nancy

10. Motherhood is pro-LIFE! ~Submitted by Nicole D.

11. Motherhood - knowing your children are the sunshine of your life! ~Submitted by Therese

12. Glorious Motherhood! ~Submitted by Tina

13. Spiritual Motherhood - Emulating the love of Jesus and His Blessed Mother!

14. Sister...a great stand-in when Mom's no longer there. After all, Mom showed her how to love!

15. Adoption, a love connection.

16. For the sake of the Blessed Mother, hold them in all Honor! ~Tina

17. No one can take her place! ~Submitted by Tina

18. Motherhood - finding joy, no matter what! ~Submitted by Jennifer

19. Motherhood - Faith, Little Fears, Fun, and Lots of Love! ~Submitted by Beatrice

20. Motherhood...when one of each isn't enough! ~Submitted by Caila

I also wanted to share a sweet message posted on my wall by our youngest son today!

A tribute to Mothers everywhere...

So what are you waiting for? Share your photos and thoughts about mothers in the comments or on the Designs by Birgit fan page. I'll publish, share, and tweet your creations!

Pro-Life Science: The Path of Greatest Resistance

Debi Vinnedge, of Children of God for Life, answers my question, "What fuels your Pro-LIFE drive?"

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Fifteen years ago, whenever I would attempt to discuss embryonic stem cells, I would get that "deer in the headlights" look. Huh? What's a stem cell, people would ask?  The Clinton administration had recently put this issue in the limelight by proposing federal funding that would involve the deliberate destruction of human embryos for research purposes.  And yet the enormity of this depravity was just not sinking in with the prolife movement.    

I knew my work was cut out for me and I didn't like it one bit, but I also knew it was what God was calling me to do:  "You don't have to change the world Debi, just tell them the truth."

Who, me?  I don't even like science, I whined in reply.  I remember mumbling something about how this was really going to mess up my perfectly well-ordered life but I humbly complied.  And so, Children of God for Life was born as a prolife organization that would educate the public on these issues that no one else seemed to want to touch at the time. 

Now, ignorance breeds fear and so I began giving talks on the differences between adult and embryonic stem cells.   I ran full page ads in secular newspapers, encouraging people to write and voice their concerns during the time period for public response.

So when the Clinton administration tabled the issue, I thought it was over and I happily settled back into my normal routine. But less than two weeks later I would read an article that was about to change my life forever: "Vaccines from abortion judged morally acceptable".  I was shocked, stunned and horrified on many levels, particularly by the nonchalant acceptance of a Catholic bioethicist quoted in the article.

Now in fairness, this bioethicist knew nothing about the history of the abortions or the ensuing research. What we did know is that these tiny martyrs had been reduced to nothing more than biological numbers, patents and product ingredients.  I was nauseated to realize that my own children had received some of these vaccines.  I felt deceived, angry, violated.  How many other moms felt the same, I wondered?  And while I knew something had to be done,  I also knew that I didn't want to be the one to do it.   

Now, I like to think of myself as a faithful willing servant if God calls upon me, but I am also not stupid.  The pharmaceutical industry is huge, powerful, rich.  Talk about David and Goliath!

So I chalked it up as yet one more nasty attack on the culture of life, sighed and tried to move on with my life. But there was this constant tugging at my heart that wouldn’t go away. And I knew that once again, God was leading me somewhere I didn't want to go.

That place would begin with exhaustive research into the past and what I would uncover aged me beyond my years, broke my heart, and shattered my soul.  There were science reports and patents dating into the early 1900's, detailing forced abortions, sterilizations, intact babies removed from their mothers, hearts still beating, live dissections, experiments with various fetal organs - all in the name of science and the almighty dollar.

Somehow we have been lulled into believing that this barbaric, utilitarian practice is the right thing to do – alas, we have no choice – we must protect society from infectious disease at all costs – unfortunate, but so very necessary.

I can only respond in a word that would not be permissible in this writing, so suffice it to say that  using aborted babies as products to help those children fortunate enough to be born is akin to the most vile form of cannibalism imaginable.  Yet we are asked to accept it for every polite reason except one that begs the question:

What kind of a civilization have we really progressed to when we can find no better way to protect ourselves than by using the remains of murdered children?

Despite the seemingly insurmountable barriers,  Children of God for Life has made progress. We expanded our education efforts to over two dozen foreign countries; we launched a successful campaign to ensure moral vaccine options in the event of a bio-terrorist attack; we exposed the use of aborted fetal cells in cosmetics and as testing material for the food and beverage industry; we mounted a victorious boycott of Pepsi which convinced them to change their research and development and last but not least, we have partnered with a prolife biotech firm that is working to provide moral alternatives for all vaccines and medicines that utilize aborted fetal material. 

There is great hope as we move forward.  And I have no doubt we will win this battle with God on our side, just as He gave David the strength to defeat Goliath.  For with Him, all things are possible.

Debi Vinnedge is the founder and Executive Director of Children of God for Life.  For more information on their work visit www.cogforlife.org
     

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This is the third installment of a series where pro-LIFE leaders are asked to share their journey with us. See the first two posts here and here.

What Stirs Your Pro-Life Heart? Béatrice Comes Full Circle

It all started twenty years ago with a broken condom. My boyfriend, whom I barely knew, acted “professionally” and instructed me to take the morning after pill. I hesitated: what if I didn’t take it? I realized that I liked the idea of being pregnant but I did as I was told.

The pill didn’t work... I was pregnant! My heart was filled with joy. Like most pregnant women I suppose, I fell in love with my baby. I discovered that day that I was Pro-Life.

My boyfriend didn’t share my happiness and told me to “get rid of that”. Like most men in uncommitted relationships, I suppose, he was Pro-Choice. I didn’t want an abortion but I took the RU486 pill as I was told. I rationalized the decision: poor baby was rejected by her dad but we would have other babies later to replace this one.

The abortion was traumatic and left me with depression and self-hatred and the relationship didn’t last. One day, my ex-boyfriend saw my little sister holding my hand. To my surprise, he said that he regretted the abortion, that we should have a daughter just like her but we had killed her.

That was too much for me to take. I loved our child, yet I ended her fragile, precious life to please the one who got me pregnant. Now he was saying that WE made a mistake? I was overwhelmed with contradictory emotions. I had to do something to block them… so I became Pro-Choice.

For the next thirteen years, I lived the Pro-Choice lie. I repeated to myself that abortion was a necessary evil, that the unborn is just a clump of cells. Those lies were in contradiction with my instincts and I swore to myself that, while it was OK to support it for others, I would never have an abortion again.

I found myself in an abusive relationship and pregnant. I didn’t want an abortion, I just wanted the man out of my life. But I was scared for the child, and the devil whispered in my ear that abortion was the only solution to protect my son from his abusive father. So I stained my soul again and I continued to lie to myself to be able to survive. Who was I kidding? I gave death to my children instead of life and I didn’t want to live anymore.

When I met my future husband (the first Pro-Lifer I have ever encountered), I was broken and fierce, anti-God and anti-life but he loved me anyways. With his support, I found the courage to face the truth: two children had died by my “choice” and I needed to grieve and deal with my emotions.

I have learned to forgive myself, those involved and to love again. I was restored and I came full circle. I gave birth to four children. I know that I’m where I’m supposed to be, the woman God intended me to be.

Behind a prickly post-choice woman, there is often a wound that needs to be healed, there is a lie that cries for truth, there is darkness that craves light. Being Pro-Life means not only supporting pregnant women but also listening to women who had an abortion and point to that healing, to that truth, to that light.

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This guest post was written by Béatrice Fedor who blogs at www.400wordsforwomen.com and speaks up for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign. It is one of a series of guest posts, written by women who answered my question: What stirs your pro-LIFE heart?

I am One of the Faces of Abortion - My Face Looks Just Like Yours

The face of the pro-life movement is as varied as the stories of the people who advocate for life. Many of us have been personally touched with a story that shaped our lives - and our drive. The reason for my involvement and fervor is relatively easy to surmise. Having lived through being 14 and Pregnant, the issue was with me from my early teen years, throughout adulthood and into present time. Lately, I've been curious to find out what drives others. Through the blessing of electronic media, I've made so many pro-life friends and they all have amazing stories to tell. Below you will find one such story. Don't be surprised if this doesn't become a series of posts!

Emily's Story 

Hi there, my name is Emily. If you saw me, you’d never know. I look like anyone else.

That’s the thing about Abortion. It’s silent. It’s deadly. It’s a lie that preys on women. Women are told , "Your life will be better". "You are “getting rid of your problem”. “ But the problem is just beginning for them. And these women, they are your neighbors. They are in your churches. You just never know who has been hurt by this.

When Birgit asked me to participate I said yes. But I hate this topic. It is embarrassing and degrading and so sad for me. It is my cross to bear, this mistake I made 31 years ago (32 this November 10th)…. it forever changed me and made me who I am in many ways.

I am staunchly Pro-Life and against abortion because I lived it. I lived with the damage to my mind, body and soul. I live with the knowledge that what I did makes me a murderer. I know that I am forgiven. I know God forgave me long before I forgave myself. And so I speak out on this today because I AM ONE OF THE FACES OF ABORTION. My face looks just like yours.

I was 19. Roe Vs. Wade was only 9 years past. I can still tell you almost 32 years later everything that happened on November 10th, 1982. I’ll never forget it. I’ll never forget the smells and the people I met. The girl who was having her 5th abortion. The doctor who didn’t want to perform it on me because I was so hysterical. The people yelling murderer, instead of “can I help you change your mind?” The boyfriend who thought putting a stereo in my car would somehow make up for what I’d done (never mind that he was abusive). The fact that my dad said if I ever got pregnant he’d keep the baby and throw me out. He didn’t mean it, but I didn’t know that then. And the fact that I had to spend a week in the hospital fighting the infection from this choice I made.

I can’t forget it. I have to find a way to help others not make the same decision I did.

Last Summer, I went to Austin to testify in the ProLife fight against Wendy Williams and her ProAbortion stance. We were really fighting to pass prolife bills. But she made it all about her. She stated that she was representing Texas Women. But she would not let any of us ProLife women post on her FaceBook page. Um – we are Texans. Many are her constituents. Sigh.

Here is a blog post where I tell my story. I hope you will read it.

Blessings,
Emily

"I Love You Anyway" - When a Gay Friend Expects Approval

I have a friend. She struggles with same sex attraction (SSA). Today, she wrote another excellent post; this time addressing those who 'come out' and expect across the board approval. Take a look and you'll realize that it's acceptable, even demanded, to love our homosexual brethren - but not their actions toward these tendencies. Drawing the line at an active homosexual lifestyle is the proper Catholic Christian response. "I love you anyway"

"No, today Christians are expected to actively celebrate homosexuality or we’re branded a “hater” or “bigot.”" ~author

This excellent and Catholic approach to an SSA friend can be found here: An Open Letter to My Gay Sister

Leading by Example - Pope Francis Goes to Confession

In an amazing of act of leading by action, Pope Francis recently stunned parishioners and clergy by an unexpected act. After giving a sermon about the vital importance of the sacrament of confession, the Holy Father deviated from protocol and went to confession to an ordinary priest before taking his post as confessor. I can only imagine how the humble priest-confessor must have felt to come face to face with the Vicar of Christ at such an unexpected time. From the photos published about the event, we can see the confession was public and not the private confession customary for popes.  In his sermon before this act of humility, Pope Francis had said,

"Who can say he is not a sinner? Nobody. We all are.” 

His action showed that he is more than willing to lead by word and example. Now, who among us should not run, not walk, to the confessional? Lent is the perfect time to take on new, positive habits. Wouldn't we all be better off if we habitually examined our consciences and frequently confessed our sins? That is what I took away from this action on the part of our Holy Father. He is saying, by his actions, that we should do as he says and as he does.

For more on the story click here. To share the meme below on Facebook, click here.

Lifting the Veil...

onto my head

Note: I'm sharing this post of veiling discernment for Wear the Veil Day 2014 - in honor of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. 

I have been contemplating wearing a chapel veil to Mass for a while now. At 54, I am just old enough to remember going to Catholic school and being instructed to cover my head by the religious sisters who taught us. My mother, sister and I also wore veils on Sundays. As with other traditions of our beautiful Catholic faith, this sign of reverence and humility was cast aside, however, when Vatican II was introduced to the people in the pew. While there were quite a number of good things that came from properly implementing this Church council, there were also some abuses from those who were attracted to the novelty of making changes for the sake of change. Some practices were mistakenly altered or eliminated while others were mistakenly (or blatantly) introduced. Examples of the former: some religious sisters stopped wearing their habits (and women their chapel veils) although there had been no official instruction to do so. Another was the total abandonment of abstaining from meat, without the substitution of another act of piety, on Fridays outside of the Lenten Season. The latter could be illustrated by 'feel good' homilies instead of firmly instructional ones and the introduction of holding hands during the Our Father - which is not in the Rubrics...ah, a topic for another time!

Similar to the calling I received from God before making the decision to homeschool, this latest whisper has been persistent even as it has been subtle. Little nudges in the form of blog posts, such as this one over at Catholic Sistas, brought that little niggling thought back to my consciousness time and time again. My adult daughter and I had casual conversations about veiling but still, I never felt strongly enough to commit. The final pull came from a very dear friend of mine with whom I had lost touch. We spent years together in the pro-life trenches. Poor health on her part forced a sort of 'retirement' from active duty. Her carefully researched and thought-out articles for newspapers and pro-life publications were treasure troves of information. Before Mary Lou says anything, she studiously pauses and makes sure only well thought out words come from her lips. I have tremendous respect for both her opinion and her research. When we ran into her at the 65th anniversary Mass of one of our priests, I commented about the chapel veil she was wearing. Her reply, simply stated, gave me the courage to strengthen my resolve.

Mary, the mother of God, covered her head as did many pious women throughout history. We are warned time and again by scripture about 1) prideful actions 2) blurring of lines between the genders 3) immodest attire and actions 4) submission to the Will of God. Armed with this re-enlightenment and after careful consideration, I gratefully accepted her offer of borrowing a veil from her and giving it a try. She told me that, once I began to veil, I would feel bare without it. My creative side won out, though, and so I found myself at the fabric store one day, purchasing lace and thread to make my own. On the ride home, my husband and I discussed the idea and challenged my reasoning. In the end, the decision was made. Along with my daughter and her two year old, I would begin to explore this tradition on Mother's Day.

Although I am still getting used to the practice, I find it unexpectedly calming. I feel more 'in tune' with what is happening at Mass. His presence is more vivid with this outward demonstration of my intent to 'let go and let God'. It will take a few more weeks for veiling to become a deeply entrenched habit but I am seeing the benefits. As for my little two-year old granddaughter, she is a natural. Quite an energetic and precocious little girl, it is surprising how she eagerly keeps her little veil in place. One Sunday, she actually resisted removing it after we left church. All in all, I am confident that the correct decision (for me) was made. I find veiling both humbling and comforting, each of which are welcome feelings. So from now on, I will lift the veil onto my head before I enter His house!

Scripture, a Priest, and Rush Limbaugh

Something a guest on the Rush Limbaugh program said yesterday resonated with me. To paraphrase, he opined that schools today seem to teach history in an emotional context rather than based on solid facts. Our children are fed the politically correct narrative of the day by appealing to their emotions rather than giving them the basic facts of what really happened. Of course, this is yet another effort at indoctrination and the reason more and more parents are taking the home education route.

I can see a correlation between this exchange and what often happens in our faith life. We, as humans, tend to be emotional creatures. Our feelings rank significantly in our decision making process and resulting actions. A wise priest once told me, ‘love is an act of Will, not a feeling’, and his simple, yet profound wisdom has stuck with me during times of confusion.

When I have trouble relating to the saints or our Blessed Mother, because they are out of sight in their heavenly glory, I remember those words. I turn my thoughts to the tangible example they have given us instead of waiting for an emotional rush of feelings. In my human weakness, it’s sometimes easier to smile at and hug every nun I run across, rather than love those who have gone before us – because in the nun’s appearance (habit) I see visual evidence of her spiritual path, while the saints are physically removed from this world.

If love is an act of Will, then it follows that faith can be as well. Turning to the Gospel of Mark, we see the story of the father of an afflicted son. He addresses, not a lack of faith, but a weakness of faith in his exchange with Jesus.

“And immediately the father of the boy crying out, with tears said: I do believe, Lord: help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24

Again and again we find those following Jesus asking for a tangible increase in faith.

“And the apostles said to the Lord: Increase our faith.” Luke 17:5

We find then, that there are substantial benefits to looking to those who came before us and sacred scripture gives us steadfast guidance as well. If we are to follow the example of the saints and strengthen our faith (and love), we must make an act of Will. Relying on emotion when pursuing our eternal destination would only serve to belittle both the goal and the journey.

5 Fabulous Meatless Meals for Lent

As Lent begins, I'm reaching back into past Meatless Friday Posts, to share 5 of the my popular recipes. Follow the links below to get the details. Happy Lent, happy eating!

Garlic Alfredo Shrimp - An easy, creamy Alfredo sauce creates a tasty addition to seafood and broccoli. Bonus - this dish is also low carb!

Hearty Crock Pot Potato Soup - This crock pot recipe can be prepared ahead of time, yet accommodate busy families with varied schedules and eating times. Comfort food at its finest!

Quick 3 Ingredient Pasta Meal - Hmmmm...it's Friday and the troops are hungry, but I've simply been too busy to worry about cooking...that is until the rumbling bellies begin to sound! Here's a quick solution, using only have three ingredients.

Tantalizingly Tasty Tuna Salad - an easy, rich tuna salad that lends itself well to sandwiches or scooped onto a bed of lettuce. Packed full of veggies and other good things, this is kid friendly and healthy. It's also low carb, if served without bread.

Meatless Pierogies Stroganoff -  This recipe can be served over pasta, potatoes, or rice as well. Another tasty comfort food recipe sure to be a family favorite!

Check out another post about Lenten Devotion Projects for you and your kids.

Lent: Word of the Day - Distance

Our Ash Wednesday Mass and distribution of ashes was presided over by our bishop. Standing room only, it was a strong statement of commitment made by the people of our town. The customarily 30 minute noon/lunch Mass took almost an hour and a half, yet I didn't notice.

The beginning of Lent is usually like that for me - I get lost in the moment, inspired to take up this span of time in better service of Our Lord and His people. Some years, however, it begins to wear thin - sometimes quickly, sometimes half way in or toward the end. I pray for the grace to complete the race this year - it's a marathon, not a sprint. In realizing this, I hope to have the endurance to finish well.

During his homily, Bishop Medley reflected on two prominent words our Holy Father, Pope Francis seems to be bringing up most often. One of them is poverty. It's not just the material poverty of others, to whom we owe alms, it's the poverty we must take up when following Christ. Putting distance between ourselves and things of the world can be a very difficult thing to do. It may even seem impossible. Yet to strive for this distance, this poverty, is to live according to the teaching of Holy Mother Church.

We are often reminded we are in this world, not of this world. In order to find the motivation and longevity to endure through the Lenten Season, this will be a valuable theme. If we are able to distance ourselves from our wants, needs, temptations - we will find the poverty needed to die to self. This will be highly instrumental in our efforts to serve Our Lord and others on His behalf. In keeping with this purpose then, our ability to go the distance in our Lenten efforts relies on the distance we are able to put between ourselves and things of this world.

Happy 2nd day of Lent! May our journeys be fruitful!






Here are some useful links for your Lent:

Study the Gospel of Mark with Fr. Longnecker

Why I'm Not Leaving Facebook for Lent

Meatless Friday - 3 Ingredient Meal Your Family Will Love






I'd also like to share these Lenten devotional crafts for you and your family:


Stations of the Cross Craft

Easter Egg Rosary

My Lenten Journey