Mom's Mistakes Strengthened Our Faith

The Catechism of the Catholic Church upholds the biblical directive that parents are the first (and most important) teachers of their children. What we often fail to realize is that what we do can have much more effect on our children than what we say or how we instruct. Who hasn’t seen one of their less than desirable actions or words mimicked by a child and felt a sudden blush of guilt? Sometimes, though, a child learns an important lesson from the mistakes in a parent’s life, and how they rise to the occasion. That was the case for me.

Mom, little brother and I - before he was taken.

Born in Germany, to a Lutheran father and Catholic mother, my earliest memories revolve around spirited fights between my parents. Although Mom was devout, he approached atheism, but she somehow managed to have my younger brother and I baptized as infants. It became painfully evident that my father was not a nice man. He cheated even before marriage and was abusive as well. Too young to fully understand the implications then, as I matured and later became an adult, the woeful tale became clearer. Long before I could fully comprehend it all, he left, covertly spiriting my younger brother away and leaving my mother as a divorcee with a young daughter. Through all of this turmoil, my mother maintained her faith.

By the time I was five, someone new had entered the picture. This American Airman was kind and gentle. I fondly remember playing circus, with him carrying me on his back, while my mother warmheartedly looked on. Things don’t always work out neatly, however. Red tape and language barriers between the Air Force, the United States government, and Germany greatly hindered attempted annulment proceedings. As a result, a civil marriage was performed and then a little sister was born into the family. I can still remember hearing that my baby sister had been denied baptism because she was born into an illicit marriage. My mother, however, tenaciously persisted and found a kindly old priest to confer the sacrament. To complete the family unit, I was also adopted and became the daughter of an American. By this time, any efforts to reunite us with my little brother had been exhausted. Our family of four moved to the U.S. without him; he could not be found.

Fast forward a few years, after assignments to several states and retirement from the Air Force, we settled in Dad’s native Kentucky. We had become a family of seven—Mom, Dad, and a collection of five children. There was still no annulment, but we had never lacked catechesis. We were all baptized, received First Holy Communion, Confirmation, and were frequently taken to Confession. The poignant vision of our mother, tears of joy (for us) and pain (for her situation) was impossible to ignore at each of these special occasions. As each of us matured in the faith life as Catholic citizens, she was our teacher, our champion, and immovable anchor. We never missed Mass, attended Catholic schools when available, and had priest friends who frequently visited our home. For all practical purposes, we appeared to be the optimal Catholic family, with one exception —our parents were unable to join us in an actively Catholic life.

All of that changed one beautiful October afternoon, when after a long, tedious, multi-linguistic annulment process, Mom and Dad were married in the Church. Our small church community and five children were present. The long awaited celebration of love and faith had finally become reality! After the reception, we decorated our family station wagon with cans and ribbons. The sign on the back read, ‘Congratulations, Mom and Dad—Just Married!’

A few years later, we were reunited with my missing brother, now an adult. He had been raised to think his father’s wife was his mother. It wasn’t until her death that he was told the truth: “She wasn’t your real mother. Your mother lives somewhere in Kentucky.” What a reunion that was! At last, all eight of us were united! It was a true lesson in faith, love, and hope. Our mother had surely illustrated a strong faith in the face of adversity. Mom died of breast cancer a few years later, at the young age of 58. Yet, she had been an incredible witness to us. She lived through many trials but never lost her faith. She even met her estranged husband at one point and offered her forgiveness. His comment to her? “There was one thing I could never break—your Catholic faith. I always respected that.” Her years of persistent love and hope had culminated in a family strengthened by adversity. She had illustrated, with her very life, what it means to live your Catholic faith.

All of us are adults now, with children and even grandchildren of our own. The Catholic faith persists as the most important thing in our lives. We have learned, from loving example, what it means to stay faithful—no matter where your choices lead you. Mistakes will be made but how you face the resulting strife, determines who you are. If nurtured and fed, Faith will always win out!

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Note: How My Mother's Mistakes Strengthened My Faith was first published at CatholicStand.com

Leading by Example - Pope Francis Goes to Confession

In an amazing of act of leading by action, Pope Francis recently stunned parishioners and clergy by an unexpected act. After giving a sermon about the vital importance of the sacrament of confession, the Holy Father deviated from protocol and went to confession to an ordinary priest before taking his post as confessor. I can only imagine how the humble priest-confessor must have felt to come face to face with the Vicar of Christ at such an unexpected time. From the photos published about the event, we can see the confession was public and not the private confession customary for popes.  In his sermon before this act of humility, Pope Francis had said,

"Who can say he is not a sinner? Nobody. We all are.” 

His action showed that he is more than willing to lead by word and example. Now, who among us should not run, not walk, to the confessional? Lent is the perfect time to take on new, positive habits. Wouldn't we all be better off if we habitually examined our consciences and frequently confessed our sins? That is what I took away from this action on the part of our Holy Father. He is saying, by his actions, that we should do as he says and as he does.

For more on the story click here. To share the meme below on Facebook, click here.

Are Aborted Babies Saints in Heaven?

“Unless a man be born again of water and the Holy Spirit, he shall not enter the  kingdom of heaven” (Jn 3:5).

 As Catholic Christians we are gravely aware of the necessity of the sacraments for Eternal Salvation. The first, and therefore, most important early sacrament is Baptism - the washing away of the Original Sin handed down by our First Parents. As Catholic parents, we are admonished by Holy Mother Church, to avail our children of this cleansing Sacrament as early in a child's life as possible. Yet, we've all heard of the tragedies of early infant loss or abortion and can't help but wonder what happens to these unsanctified souls. What becomes of the child who is aborted or miscarried before Baptism? Surely there is some consoling answer for these innocents, whose parents had no opportunity to have them Baptized?

Three Types of Baptism

We are taught that there are three types of Baptism. 1). Baptism by water – using the formulaic prayer, ‘I baptize you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit'. 2). Baptism by blood - as in the case of someone martyred for the Faith, and 3). Baptism of desire - the cleansing received by a soul who, although planning to be baptized, dies before that act can be completed. We also find a caveat to Baptism of desire: if an individual is innocently unaware of God and is provided the grace to make an act of Faith in a provident God, that person’s soul will be cleansed of Original Sin.

With God All Things are Possible

As the grandmother of five babies who were lost by miscarriage, I have faith that our righteous God provides a just outcome for these babies. By extension, I have faith of the same for babies who die from abortion. He, Himself has said that He 'knows us each by name' before we are born. If we subscribe to the belief that each human soul is given an opportunity to accept or reject God, then I firmly believe our answer lies in such a conviction. After all, these innocents have committed no Actual Sin. For a God who is Eternal, timeless, why would it be a stretch to conceive Him meeting these children at the hour of their death and giving them a choice? According to our poor human terms, they are ill equipped to make such an eternal decision, at so tender an age – but in meeting with their Maker, who are we to say that a mature choice can’t be made?

While no firm, detailed Dogma has been pronounced for our consolation, a certain amount of comfort can be found in this simple faith. God wants what is good for all of His Children. My heart rests easy, in a childlike faith and hope, that He has made just accommodations for these little ones. After all, they found themselves at the mercy of a loving God.

NOTE: A more in-depth treatment of this topic can be found in "The Fate of Unbaptized Infants: Christian Hope and Christian Realism" - which was the inspiration for my post.

Interior Disposition: Why Fix Your Hair, If You're Wearing a Veil?

As someone who is relatively new to veiling, I ravenously researched the practice before I made my decision. The whispered call was there, but so was the fear of others' opinions - the fear of the outward. But that wasn't the inspiration at all. The decision to veil had much more to do with the interior than the exterior. With the decision now made, I'm still in tune with posts and memes on the topic. One good-natured pun in veiling circles is that, when you veil, bad hair days don't matter. Inside jokes aside, those little hidden things to which all of us succumb are called to mind.

So, yes, I spend time on my hair before attending Mass - but it's not because my nice 'do' will impress my fellow parishioners. My purpose is to do my best for Jesus, whose house I will be visiting - He Who I will consume in the Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist. Whether or not it's seen by others, I know, and so does He - so I want to present my best to Him.

These musings also present us with an opportunity to ponder the interior state of our souls. Are there little, hidden things not apparent to others? Should they matter? Who will know? The obvious answer is a resounding, yes - they matter! If we are truly living out our purpose in this life - gaining Eternal Life with God - then we must sweep away those interior cobwebs. Outward appearances are, as they say, only skin deep. What matters most is that which can't be seen by the world - our innermost heart and soul. Regular interior housekeeping - confession - becomes another necessary accessory to our Mass attendance.

Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself.

 1 Corinthians 11:28-29 28

Don't Be Glum

All of this awareness shouldn't be a source of despair, however. St. Matthew says it nicely: Don't go for the show; have the proper disposition. 

And when you fast, be not as the hypocrites, sad. For they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Amen I say to you, they have received their reward.

~Matthew 6:16

The next penitential season on the Liturgical Calendar, Advent, is just five Sundays away. Although Advent isn't as somber as Lent, it is still a time of solemn preparation - not just of the household, but of our souls. We will prepare rich foods, gifts, and celebratory decor, yet we will also deny ourselves a bit of our customary luxuries. It's a time of making our souls ready as well. Will we afford ourselves of the vast offerings of Penitential Services and confession opportunities? We await to receive Him as an infant - God become man to shed His Blood for our salvation. Preparations will be made with great joy and anticipation - a happy time for families to share. Yet we must also prepare our inner disposition for His coming. We also know, some day will be the day of His final coming. Are you ready?

A Fool's Paradise or Sin Makes Us Stupid

"We've been living in a fool's paradise", declares Lee of the sweetly nuanced Swiffer commercial. She and husband, Morty, have endeared themselves to television viewers - waltzing in their kitchen and discovering the dirt of which they were formerly unaware. My husband sometimes calls me 'Babe' (Morty's term of endearment), to hint at our goal to be that couple as we age.

In the same way Lee speaks of the hidden dirt her new cleaning gadget has helped her find, we can speak of the hidden sins that we gloss over. During an online retreat I recently heard the good Fr. Ripperger, FSSP say, "sin makes you stupid" - and so it does. Whether it's difficult to discern (like the dust on Lee's kitchen floor), or glossed over by carelessness or habit - we all have sins that, if laid bare, would alarm us.

Sin Makes Us Stupid

To elaborate on this point, lets think about the types of sin: Original Sin, Venial Sin, and Mortal Sin. Original Sin is an effect of the fall of our First Parents. Although not an actual sin that we have committed, it has an actual effect on us - a lack of Grace. If not washed away by Baptism, it causes a lack of subordination to God and therefore makes it difficult to do good. With Original Sin has come sickness and death of the soul.

Venial sin involves matters that are not seriously sinful but can certainly act as the gateway to serious sin. When we mortally sin, we disengage from God - we turn our backs on Him and willfully do evil. This serious sinfulness makes us more prone to evil and it becomes difficult to do good. Our passions are disordered and the control that we have over the flesh is diminished. Therefore we are more and more likely to give in to disordered appetites. This, in turn, darkens our intellect - blinds it to the sin committed. This blindness is our punishment - the resulting cycle of sin makes us more and more stupid...too stupid to be fully aware of the dire straits we are in. The further we fall into sin, the more fixated we become on the created things to which we are attached. Our lower faculties win out with our desire for sinful pleasures. We find that we have an inability to concentrate on spiritual things: even meaningful prayer becomes extremely difficult.

Thankfully our natural light of reason, however diminished, remains with us - giving us a way toward what is right and holy. Although sin darkens our intellect and dulls our senses that judge our sinfulness, with repentance, we can come back to the full light of reason. For this reason, it's prudent to take full advantage of the sacrament of Penance frequently. Holy Mother Church, in the wisdom endowed by Jesus, has given us a perfect way to balance our lives and therefore our souls. Each time we come to Him with the burden of our sins, he presents the perfect means to enhance our holiness, our awareness and our ability to live as we should. We, like Morty, we make dirt (sin) and so must utilize that with which we have been equipped - to make clean what was once dirty. Confession can be the Swiffer* for our souls - cleaning every nook and cranny we are willing to find.

*The Swiffer and Confession comparison is solely mine and not to be confused with the substance of Fr. Ripperger's eloquent message. I have only lightly touched on the wisdom shared in these talks. To hear more from Fr. Ripperger, FSSP click here.

http://www.sensustraditionis.org/webaudio/Sin/Sin.mp3

Naggable Offenses

My DH (web-speak for dear husband) is a constant source of entertainment for me. I honestly think he is one of the major reasons I was able to live through a breast cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy, and subsequent surgeries without losing even more of my mind. We have a real compatibility - and yet can attack and parry with the best of them with our razor-edged tongues. Once a source of slight discomfiture for our kids, they now see it for what it is - pure playful entertainment.

This morning I was nagging reminding DH for the upteenth time, about a small thing he needs to take care of - it involves carrying two containers from point A to point B. These boxes are too heavy for me and they have to do with his job, so this is undeniably his thing. In an attempt to cajole him into doing his duty - just one more time (sigh) - I mentioned it to him as he was walking out the door. That's when he coined the phrase - naggable offenses. You know, those simple tasks that would involve a miniscule amount of time - yet they seldom get done with just one request. You see, nagging, in its true sense is repetitive requests that have more to do with optional behavior. Sit up straight, get a haircut, go visit your grandmother, find a nice girl, etc. A 'naggable' offense, then, is the 'naggee's' fault. It's apparent to any right-thinking individual that, if these small tasks were done at the time of the request, there would be no need for repetition - and thus cause the aforementioned nagging.

This got me thinking about how many naggable offenses we have accumulated over the course of our lives in our relationship with God. I found myself thinking of those times that we hear the Holy Spirit whisper to our hearts. Go to confession, get up and go to weekday Mass, visit the sick, write a thoughtful note to someone who seems sad - the list could (and does) go on and on. What if we jumped into action as soon as we became aware of these opportunities? Or perhaps we could even become more sensitive to the call to do good. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we started inventing great things to do in service to others - and therefore to God? But our God is a loving and patient God. He continues to give us opportunity after opportunity, even if we are slow to respond. If we are truly working toward bettering our relationship with Him, however, it's necessary to stimulate our awareness of what it is that He desires of us. These naggable offenses weaken our souls and desensitise our consciences as we tuck them away into our minds like unruly children. In our quest for Eternal life, let us resolve to heighten our listening skills, not to put off for tomorrow what we are called to do today and to willingly serve our loving Creator.

Sometimes the Rosary is All You Need

As is the case in most lives, mine ebbs and flows with its own rhythm. Sometimes I just feel 'unwell', spiritually, and can't quite put my finger on what exactly ails me. With an internal checklist, I count down the possible reasons. Is there conflict with a loved one? Do I need to go to confession? Have I allowed some physical ill to color my spiritual wellness? How's my prayer life?

Ding, ding, ding - we have a winner! Many times when this malaise hits me, it's because I have let my prayer life and/or spiritual reading slide. In the busyness of life, I have failed to feed my soul - the very reason I was created. As is often the case, simply reciting the Holy Rosary is all I need to set things right. Saying it daily sets me on a steady course of 'wellness'. My life flows better; my heart feels lighter.

How does your prayer life affect you?

• A great brief talk about the importance of the Rosary can be found here: The Holy Rosary

• Rosary Prayer Sheets, to color as you pray, for your kids from Catholic Inspired

Say the Rosary with someone you love!

Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Comfort Zone or Not - Some Things Remain the Same

A recent trip from KY to NY took me right out of my comfort zone - and it's a deeply entrenched comfort zone. I've been married since I was 17, my mom was my best friend, and now my daughter has taken that role. Along with our not so empty nest, what with a boomerang kid and grandchildren, I don't have much occasion to be alone. So there I was, in a Holiday Inn at Seneca Falls, NY, while my husband attended an expo for three days. With a Wal-mart at one side and a McDonald's at the other, I wasn't left completely without resources but, as someone who rarely goes it alone, I was feeling somewhat displaced. On the brief walk to WallyWorld, however, I was struck by how some things remain the same - no matter where you are:

Humidity still makes me feel like a guppy out of water but the miracle that is nature continues to intrigue me. Native flowers, the smell of freshly mowed grass, and the singing of birds is present everywhere - if you just take a moment to notice.

Prayer, chatting with a Facebook friend about Eucharistic Miracles, and the feeling of being watched over by my Guardian Angel - these things are still here with me.

Mothers' children, yelling 'Mama', and the subsequent response - yep, that's still there - even in a Wal-mart in NY. I also still get that warm feeling in my heart when I see a large family and their disorganized yet controlled dance at the checkout lane.

Strangers returning your smile also works here as does the occasional preoccupied glare.

I still have the security of knowing that my husband is only a few miles away - and will be home in time for dinner - and I like it that way!

I can find a Catholic Church (or two) even in a smallish town in NY, where weekday Mass and confession is offered. The same Mass that will be said at St. Elizabeth parish in Curdsville, KY.

We have so much to be thankful for - and so little time to appreciate it all. It's a gift to be pulled out of your little pond, if it causes you to rethink the wonder that is our life.

As we fall back into the routine of being home, may I never forget the beauty of each of our lives. There is so much to appreciate - so much that, sadly, goes unnoticed as we go about our routine. I pray that the Holy Spirit will inspire me to go out of my comfort zone - even if it's just to rethink a jealously guarded notion to which I have held onto for way too long. Let my mind, heart and soul be open to appreciating that with which I have been blessed. And let me find a kinder, more gentle way to share what I have found! God bless you friends!

Is Someone You Love Poison for Your Soul?

It's evident that I'm not alone in a struggle with someone intimately linked to my life. I have heard many stories portraying similar, unfortunate circumstances. You know, someone in your family or close circle of friends, who persistently goes out of his way to hurt you. I'm not talking about the occasional butting of heads that many of us encounter in our flawed human interaction with other flawed humans. What I'm contemplating is something far more disturbing and difficult to charitably fathom. This type of animosity makes others take notice, their facial expressions revealing their shock - 'what the heck'!? What do you do in such a situation? How long do you persist in trying to make amends? To whom do you go for advice?

What's Going On Here?

I have had a couple such encounters in my life and, in fact, have been struggling with one for over 20 years. In an effort at full disclosure, I must confess to active participation on my part - initially. It’s a case of those reflexive pushing back types of reactions which sometimes make both participants uncomfortable company for anyone who is not playing their flawed game. Either that or observers feel the need to choose sides or make ineffective (and temporary) attempts to settle the matter. If you’re lucky though, after a while, the snide comments and fleeting, glaring stares give way to a desire to wipe the slate clean - so you do. You and this person come to a detente – after all, why waste precious time on disharmony when there’s so much joy to be had? You go to confession, you commune with one another and all seems right with the world. And then…

This Isn’t Going Away, Is It?

Somehow the fleeting peace fails to last and this time, you’re trapped as an unwilling participant in a battle from which you’ve walked away. You have prayerfully discerned that this is a sinful situation – as in occasion of sin – but the other persists in their vitriolic contact. So what to do? Perhaps going to the person in question and having an in-depth conversation will work wonders. But that doesn’t work in the most difficult of such situations. Conceivably the next step is going to someone who knows you both, who can impartially seek a common peace.

And still, it persists. In an effort to forgive the seventy times seven Jesus asks of us, you might finally find yourself making another appointment with your parish priest or spiritual director. After thoroughly listening to your distress, the resulting advice might be surprising. If all efforts at peace have resulted in an inadequate outcome; if there simply is no hope for a fruitful relationship, you may simply need to walk away. This isn’t easy – especially if you have close ties to the person in question. How do you walk away from someone who is intimately connected? And how realistic is it to expect for the unrest never to cross your mind or interactions with others who know you both?

So What to do?

I once read some sage advice. Every time that the hurts resurfaces – whether they are remembered conflicts
or new transgressions – say an Our Father for the person causing you pain. When you get to the line, ‘forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us’, it’s impossible to hold onto the resentment if you truly mean what you’re praying. After all, don’t we recognize that we aren’t worthy of forgiveness in our own transgressions? Forgiveness comes from the gift of Jesus and His dying for us. It’s not something we earn or are entitled to expect. Rather, it’s a gift of love. Remember Jesus telling us to love even our enemies?

Is this any different than Jesus forgiving those who persecuted him? Didn’t He set a really high bar for us when he lived the example of the ultimate forgiveness? Is it any more difficult than Him saying, ‘they know not what they do’? If we expect to follow Jesus – at all costs – how can we justify holding onto a grudge against those who persecute us? In the same way that we, flawed as we are, find that we need to confess the same sins again and again – that is the way that we must resolve to step aside from the hurt feelings and grudges we might feel toward those who persist in hurting us. Didn’t the Sanhedrin give false testimony against Jesus? Didn’t He have to endure the most excruciating pain, betrayal, and slander – even unto death on a cross? Who then, are we, to expect better than the treatment He received? “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

          "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
                                                                                                          Matthew 5:44

Father, please give me a contrite heart. Help me to resolve to never sin against you again. Give me true repentance and forgiveness so that I may give forgiveness too! AMEN!

This post is an answer to Jennifer Fulwiler's 7 Posts in 7 Days: An epic blogging challenge - day 5

Also listed at Catholic Bloggers Network - Catholic Bloggers!

Hey Scarlet, Don’t Play Games With Your Soul

You know those little games we tend to play in everyday life? Like when the van is running on fumes because we were tired and had already been to the grocery and the mall and t-ball and Mass and the drug store and we just couldn't bear to pull up to that pump? So we play the ‘can we make it home and back to the pump’ game and most of the time we make it. There are many similar ways that we sometimes often play games in life – at least that’s how I roll. Many of us have those Scarlet O’Hara moments when we resolve to take care of x, y, z – just as long as we can wait until tomorrow. But is playing these waiting games a good idea when it comes to our souls?

I made a little visit to Jesus today. Having taken a long list of intentions from friends and family, I settled in for some time before the Blessed Lord in the Eucharist. As providence would have it, I was the only one there and was blessed with total silence. No clicking Rosaries or rustling pages or squeaking kneelers, no fidgeting teens, and no whispering tots – just Jesus and me! What a treat it was – especially once I realized that I could pray the Rosary and speak those intentions out loud. It felt like such a blessing to have this conversation – not internally, but audibly. And so I communed with Our Lord and let the needs of all of my family and friends flow freely from my lips.

As I was heading home, still basking in the glow, I ruminated about the goings on in our country (and world) these days. Flagrant glee for the murder of innocent babies in the womb, rabid pontificating about deviant lifestyles, upheaval at the Vatican, a government and society quite literally gone mad – all of this is weighing down on the faithful. Questions resonate: But where shall we go? To Whom shall we turn? As the apostles realized, we too have a tangible option. We need not flee in fear nor hide our heads in the sand as if these atrocities don’t exist. Our Lord Jesus Christ is listening. He is biding His time – waiting for us to come to Him with our trepidations, failures, and hopes for a better tomorrow. For now, we have this option, but some day it will be too late. We mustn't toy with this reality.

How blessed are we to be Catholic! Everything we need is at our disposal. All we need to do is repent,

confess, adore, and receive. What a wonderful gift we have been given! The only caveat is that no one will (or can) do it for us. There will be no substitutions or pinch hitters. When tumult hits our world and our souls are in turmoil, all we have to do is make sure we're not running on fumes – doing the bare minimum. Let’s not allow our inner Scarlet O’Hara to put off for tomorrow what needs to be done today. Tomorrow may be too late and this isn't a game we can afford to lose. Let’s use the Sacraments. Jesus is waiting in the confessional to hear the repentance of our sins and offer forgiveness. He waits in the Eucharist for us to spend time with and to consume Him - Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. Face it; we need to fuel up our souls by worthily receiving the Eucharist often – not running on fumes. If we run on empty, the evils prowling the world seeking souls to ruin will have easy prey. Let’s fuel up our souls and make it all the way Home!

Alzheimer’s: Is it Good for the Soul?

Ma Peak

My husband’s sweet little grandmother has progressively lost her short term – and most long term memory. At 97 years young, her past few years have seen her settle comfortably into a new reality. She is no longer telling us that she wants to go ‘home’ – both in the earthly sense and in the eternal sense. Her life has regressed back into infancy, where she eats, naps, and shared smiles with us. A recent development finds her pulling her blanket over her face when she decides that our interaction is over and it’s time for some rest.

Ma Peak is not Catholic and she, along with her dearly departed husband, investigated several churches throughout their wonderfully blessed (five decade) marriage.  But they were always there for us when we had Catholic events going on. While my convert husband’s parents declined such invitations, Ma and Pa where always there – even signing over their permission for their 18 year old grandson to marry his 17 year old bride (me). As with all families, there were disagreements and hurt feelings and all sorts of bumps in the road. This led to the sinful but all too human telling of tales and holding of grudges.

Now that she no longer remembers these events or her reaction to them, I am left wondering: what happens to the sins of those who are no longer able to confess them? Are we somehow still held culpable or is there some way for loved ones to help someone of altered mind attain Heaven? I know that the obvious answer is that ‘with God all things are possible’ and that He ultimately has a plan for all of us. A feeling of responsibility weighs on my mind, however, and I feel compelled to try to find an answer with which I can live. A finely honed conscience can be a wonderful tool for, not only our own salvation, but for helping others.

Here’s what we’ve done so far. When we visit her these days – usually after Mass on Sunday – we share a brief visit including smiles, kisses, and God bless you crosses on foreheads. Then, after her blanket is pulled up over her face, we pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet in her presence. I’m not sure what effect this will have on behalf of her immortal soul – but I am sure that acts like this matter. As her family, we are taking this fourth child of ours (Ma) and doing our best to help her achieve unity with the Lord. However God sees fit to apply these supplications, my security in believing in the Communion of Saints gives me the comfort of knowing that we are somehow giving her aid.

For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion...

There’s also a lesson to be learned here. In her new found innocence, Ma is made new. All of her past prejudices, perceived hurts and grudges have been washed away. She has completed the circle of, first forgiving and now forgetting any transgression that may have been stumbling blocks in the past. As a new creation, she has become a child once again. Our ministrations give her immediate comfort and, hopefully, future assistance on her journey. May we also use her gift of pointing us toward forgiving and forgetting – a sort of self-induced Alzheimer's for the good of our souls. What an opportunity - while we still have the presence of mind to seek absolution for our own transgressions.

On this, Divine Mercy Sunday, may we grow in our faithful seeking of forgiveness through the sacrament of penance!