In Defense of the Veil

This Mother's Day will mark the fourth year since my adult daughter and I made the personal decision to practice the devotion of veiling. Much thought, prayer, and discernment went into this decision. 

As our anniversary of wearing a veil approaches, I'd like to share an open letter. It was originally intended for someone specific but I refrained from sending it in order to avoid discord. Publishing it now, a year or two later, as an open letter will serve to offer an inside look into the devotion - what it is and what it isn't. The aforementioned letter follows:

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 Greetings!

While I am in no way attempting to change your mind, I do feel that some misconceptions need to be addressed. Please share these thoughts with your advisors.
Wishing you a blessed Holy Week.

Yes, veiling is a personal devotion. Yet it is quickly growing as a more common practice. In fact, mainstream national Catholic publications regularly publish articles about the call to veil. This is indicative of a growing interest and trend. The sale of veils is also rapidly trending upward – something I know because of my contact with several veiling companies.

For many women, veiling increases the full active and conscious participation in the Eucharist. Coming together as a community of believers, is not in conflict with also experiencing a very intimate encounter with Christ. Both are appropriate and desirable for full participation in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

The original exhortation by St. Paul was not concerned with covering physical beauty. He advocated veiling as a means of equalizing all women, since ostracized women didn’t veil. In covering all women and uncovering all men, St. Paul also emphasized our equal but differing roles. In addition, he proposed veiling as a sign of deference to the presence of the Holy Angels, who attend the Eucharistic Sacrifice of the Holy Mass.

Further, there are many facets to this devotion. The pursuit of modesty in front of our God is also an important consideration. Especially in modern times, when women reveal too many of their physical attributes, it brings to mind the respect and God-given dignity we posses. While some may make a negative judgment, in practice I have found many priests, deacons, and other faithful who welcomed the respect it affords women.

Surely we’re not suggesting that women in the 60’s, prior to the Second Vatican Council, covered their heads for modesty’s sake in everyday life. Other than wearing hats as a matter of fashion, they did not cover at all – except for when in the Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.

However, this was not the only reason veils were (or are) worn. Other motivations include emulation of Mary the Mother of God, personal submission to Jesus Christ, in deference to the Church’s practice of veiling all worthy vessels (women are after all life-bearers), and a tangible appearance of modesty in feminine beauty.

Although the submitted article shares my personal reasoning, it speaks of the reasoning attributed to the increasing number of women who are continually making this decision. Personal devotions, after all, are also to be respected and are shared by many. To this day women who attend the Extraordinary Form of the Mass, little girls receiving the Eucharist for the first time, and brides – all wear veils – exactly for some of the reasons I have given. 

To those who practice the devotion, the wearing of the veil is a physical reminder of the True Presence just as a scapular, medal, or other sacramental evokes a rapt attention to the Holy. After all, even though there is no longer a requirement to veil, veiling itself is still biblical (1 Cor 11) and was emphasized by many of the Church Fathers as an important act of reverence. Today, it’s simply a respected option.

Blessings,
Birgit Jones

My hope in making this unpublished and unsent letter public is twofold. First, I'd like to hope that any woman who is discerning the devotion of wearing a veil finds encouragement and fortitude. Perhaps my words, the spiritual benefit experienced by those of us who do veil, and a bit of insight will ward off misconception and fear.

Secondly, I am sharing because it illustrates that my daughter and I made the right choice - for us. In recognizing that the call to veil doesn't resound in every woman, it is equally necessary to acknowledge that veiling is a beloved devotion to some of us. May we all give the respect we all deserve.

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 9 - Chastity

Today's secular influenced society puts no value on chastity or modesty. Girls are not taught their value as women of God and boys are not instructed about valuing them as more than a plaything nor in their roles as protectors and defenders of virtue. We see sex used as recreation, immodesty in behavior and clothing, and a mindset that diminishes family/children. Mutual respect, partnership, and a return to godly behavior is sorely needed if we are ever to eradicate the evils the Culture of Death brings.

Daily prayer: Pope Saint John Paul II's Prayer to our Lady.

O Mary

bright dawn of the new world,

Mother of the living,

to you do we entrust the cause

Look down, O Mother,

upon the vast numbers

of babies not allowed to be born,

of the poor whose lives are made difficult,

of men and women

who are victims of brutal violence,

of the elderly and the sick killed

by indifference or out of misguided mercy.

Grant that all who believe in your Son

may proclaim the Gospel of Life

with honesty and love

to the people of our time.

Obtain for them the grace

to accept that Gospel

as a gift ever new,

the joy of celebrating it with gratitude

throughout their lives

and the courage to bear witness to it

resolutely, in order to build,

together with all people of good will,

the civilisation of truth and love,

to the praise and glory of God,

the Creator and lover of life.

Day 9: March 24 - For an increase in the virtue of chastity.

It is an illusion to think that we can build a true culture of human life if we do not help the young to accept and experience sexuality and love and the whole of life according to their true meaning and in their close interconnection. Sexuality, which enriches the whole person, 'manifests its inmost meaning in leading the person to the gift of self in love'. The trivialisation of sexuality is among the principal factors which have led to contempt for new life. Only a true love is able to protect life. There can be no avoiding the duty to offer, especially to adolescents and young adults, an authentic education in sexuality and in love, an education which involves training in chastity as a virtue which fosters personal maturity and makes one capable of respecting the 'spousal' meaning of the body. EV 97.

Heavenly Father, Your design for human sexuality is among the most misunderstood of Your truths today. Please grant Your grace of self-control to all Your people, that they may be a witness to Your Holiness and purity by their lives of holy chastity. The culture of life will flourish when young people embrace the state of chastity both within and outside of marriage; please give parents and educators the means to communicate your plan for sexuality to our young people and through the media.

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Evangelium Vitae Meditations:

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 1 - Contraception

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 2 - Abortion

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 3 - Euthanasia of the Elderly and Disabled

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 4 - Commodification of Unborn Children and Mothers

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 5 - Sex Industry

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 6 - Legislators

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 7 - ClergyEvangelium Vitae Novena Day 8 - Laity

Evangelium Vitae Novena Day 9 - Chastity

Evangelium Vitae Novena 20th Anniversary - Closing Prayer

Blog Blink - 13 Top Posts from 2013

Happy New Year!!!

As we bid farewell to the calendar year of 2013, I thought it might be fun to have a countdown of my 13 favorite/most popular posts. I'd like to extend a special thank you to Monica, over at Equipping Catholic Families, for the idea and for setting up this linking opportunity!

Graphics for Designs by Birgit's 13 best blog  posts of 2013

So, without further ado, here's the countdown of favorites for 2013:

#13 - St. Michael the Archangel Costume for Catholic Boys - Our boys are surrounded by floofy, pink princesses and their dress-up attire all year long. All Saints Day offered the opportunity to transform them into gallant, saintly heroes.

#12 - A Baker's Dozen: Reflections From a 17-Year-Old Bride - As my husband and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary, I shared my perspective as a teen bride.  

#11 - Pope Francis Wants a Mess? Let's Stir Up Some Pro-life Passion - Pope Francis famously gave the young people at World Youth Day the instruction to create a mess in proclaiming the Gospel. In this post I give his words a pro-life perspective.

#10 - Are Aborted Babies Saints in Heaven? - So many of us are affected by abortion or pregnancy loss. The age old question has been where do those babies go, since they were unable to obtain the sacrament of Baptism?

#9 - A Fool's Paradise or Sin Makes Us Stupid - Spring-boarding off a popular cleaning commercial, I share an inspirational sermon from a holy priest.

#8 - Hey Scarlet, Don’t Play Games With Your Soul - Putting off for tomorrow, what needs to be addressed today, is no way to prepare for His coming!

#7 - Don't be a Cafeteria Prolifer - Just as we can't pick and choose which Church teachings to which we adhere, we need to treat our unborn brethren without prejudice.

#6 - Angelina Jolie and Me: A Preemptive Strike at Breast Cancer - As an 8 year breast cancer survivor, carrying the often fatal BRCA-1 gene, I share moral and scientific reasons to take preventive measures.

#5 - Interior Disposition: Why Fix Your Hair, If You're Wearing a Veil? - All kidding aside, veiling is only an exterior devotion that should reflect an interior communion with Christ and His Church.

#4 - Meatless Friday: Hearty Crock Pot Potato Soup - This Meatless Friday recipe became wildly popular when it was picked up as a favorite with a crock pot cooking site. Yum!

#3 - News Flash! The Pope is Catholic - With the changing of the guard in the pontificate, speculation arose as to the faithfulness of the new pope and his more earthy 'style'. An in-depth look, however, confirms he is continuing to guide the Church faithfully.

#2 - Veiling Revisited - Is It Mandatory? - With my decision to begin the devotion of veiling a year and a half old, I reviewed some of the questions surrounding the revival of veiling.

And FINALLY, the most popular post of 2013...

#1 - Elf on the Shelf and Santa Claus - What are They Really Teaching Children? - Call me a Scrooge or call me a purist, but the Elf and I don't see eye to eye. While I don't condemn those who love the prank-filled interloper, I share my reasoning - based on family anecdotes. 

SHEESH, after compiling my list and creating a collage of graphics from the above posts, I realized that I'd omitted a popular and vital post from the collection.

Just call this your New Years BONUS post:

The Salvation Army: 5 Ethical Questions to Ask Before You Feed the Red Kettle - A part of charity is determining that our gift is going to an ethical organization, with ethical beliefs. The facts presented in this post might just surprise you.

*This post is also participating in a link-up over at Amongst Lovely Things



Now it's your turn...link up your favorites post here:

Veiling Through the Joyful Mysteries

Last year I shared Lifting the Veil…, a post about my decision to begin veiling. More recently, I wrote a post entitled, Veiling Revisited - Is It Mandatory?, which touched on the specifics of Canon Law and some expert advice. Today's post seeks to connect the devotion of veiling to a scriptural inspiration. For example, in reading Ephesians we are given great insight into the aspect of respect as a two-way street. We wives are called to be subject to our husbands even as they are admonished to love us as much as they love their own bodies. Men are also called to honor their wives as God honors the Church. The full message is to “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ”.

As our priest explained in one of his homilies, sacred scripture is not to be taken one line at a time and misused with the intention of taking advantage of someone else. It is to be taken as a mirror of God’s relationship with us. When both man and woman (Jesus and Church), employ their proper and complementary roles, there is equal dignity and harmony for the good of all. Therefore, when I veil, I show respect not just for Jesus present in the Eucharistic Sacrament but also for the dignity of my role as a woman.

Returning to scripture we can call to mind how, when Saint Veronica encountered Jesus carrying His cross, she took off her veil and He wiped His face with it. When He handed it back to her, the image of His face remained and gave a special blessing to the practice of veiling. This event is still honored in most Catholic Churches in the form of the Stations of the Cross. The name Veronica – vera icon (true icon) – comes from this occasion. We can also look to Our Blessed Mother for the symbolism of humility and submission to Christ. Statues of her appear in Catholic Churches as well and we are called to emulate her ‘yes’ to her call from God. This leads me to a meditation on veiling I was inspired to compile and use as I pray the Rosary.

Veiling Through the Joyful Mysteries

The Annunciation (Humility) - Mary learns from the Angel Gabriel that God wishes her to be the mother of God and humbly accepts. (Luke 1:26-38)

When I first felt the call to veil, it was a tiny whisper. I didn't know why I wanted to veil or even if my desire was pure. After prayer, discernment, and discussion with my husband, I felt ready to commit and say my own 'yes' to God. Veiling is not as much about the outer sign as it is about the inward resolve to be a better daughter of God, sister of Jesus, living with the Grace granted by the Spirit.

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The Visitation (Love of Neighbor) – Mary goes to visit her cousin Elizabeth and is praised by her as "blessed among women."(Luke 1:39-56)

When I wear my veil, I hope to be a comfort to others. I strive to display modesty and the unique feminine qualities that only women and girls possess. In a world that is stark in its lack of respect for the unique gifts of women, I want to be there for my sisters in Christ and give them comfort and solace and maybe the courage to look deeply into their own femininity and thus strive to praise God in stature, dress, and voice.

The Nativity (Poverty of Spirit) – Mary gives birth to Jesus in the stable at Bethlehem.(Luke 2:1-20)

With the dawning of every new day, we are born again to a new opportunity to live as a child of God. All distractions, failings, and fears from yesterday are gone and we are invited to strive for sainthood anew. With the donning of my veil, I say to Jesus, that I am ready to take on the challenge - of being the best me I can be, regardless of history or failures in previous attempts.

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The Presentation (Purity of Mind and Body) – Mary and Joseph present Jesus to His Heavenly Father in the Temple of Jerusalem forty days after His birth.(Luke 2:22-39)

We present ourselves to God upon entry into His house. We go there to seek Him out, to ask His blessing, to petition for our most basic needs, and to honor and glorify Him. When I place the veil upon my head, I am signaling to myself and to anyone who cares to take notice, that my intention is to humble myself in His presence.

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Finding the Christ child in the Temple (Obedience) – After searching for three days, Mary and Joseph found the twelve-year-old Jesus sitting in the Temple discussing the law with the learned doctors.(Luke 2:42-52).

We find ourselves in the Body of Christ. We did not ask to be brought there but are instead drawn there by answering our Father's call. He wants us for Himself and when I veil, I find it to be a sacramental way to show that I am His.

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Fruits of the Mysteries of the Rosary - http://www.rosary-center.org/joyful.htm

Scripture references - http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/prayers/rosary/annunciation.htm#ixzz24foLoG31

Veiling Revisited - Is It Mandatory?

Just over a year ago I ventured into the hot topic of veiling. As I quickly found, there was/is quite the cyber skirmish going on concerning this topic as well as the issue of what constitutes modesty. As with many devotions and other disciplines, discussion can get quite contentious. In my post, Lifting the Veil...Onto My Head, I shared with readers over on Catholic Sistas what had precipitated my decision to veil. In my research, I found many differing views expressed by other writers and had to do some digging to answer the first burning question.

Is Veiling Still *Required* of Catholic Women?

The short and long of it was thoroughly addressed by checking out a bit of Canon Law. The requirement that women wear head coverings at Mass was part of the 1917 Code of Canon Law, which provided (emphasis mine):

     Canon 1262
1. It is desirable that, consistent with ancient discipline, women be separated from men in church.

2. Men, in a church or outside a church, while they are assisting at sacred rites, shall be bare-headed, unless the approved mores of the people or peculiar circumstances of things determine otherwise; women, however, shall have a covered head and be modestly dressed, especially when they approach the table of the Lord.

When the 1983 Code of Canon Law was promulgated this canon was not re-issued; indeed, canon 6, 1, abrogated it, along with every other canon of the 1917 Code not intentionally incorporated into the new legislation.

     Canon 61

When this Code goes into effect, the following are abrogated: 

(1) the Code of Canon Law promulgated in 1917;
(2) other universal or particular laws contrary to the prescriptions of this Code, unless particular laws are otherwise expressly provided for;
(3) any universal or particular penal laws whatsoever issued by the Apostolic See, unless they are contained in this Code;
(4) other universal disciplinary laws dealing with a matter which is regulated ex integro by this Code.

Thus, there was no longer any canonical obligation for women to wear a head-covering, since laws which had been part of the 1917 Code, including canon 1262, had lost their force and their legal requirement was officially ended. You may further notice that veiling in particular was never specified - just a general covering of the head and modest dress.

Is Veiling Still *Desired* for Catholic Women?

So, finally, after searching and reading multiple sources, I concluded that veiling is a discipline (not Dogma) and therefore optional. Something interesting resulted from my searching, however. There seemed to be a trend of admiration and even encouragement for veiling on the part of many in the clergy. I saw this repeated in my own experience as well as anecdotally from others. Take the visiting priest from India who, due to a bit of a language barrier simply pointed to my veil after Mass and gave me a smiling thumbs up. Another favorite comment came from a deacon who had read my original post. He wrote about his thoughts that "in a culture in deep decline, and after having discussed this with a variety of priest friends, I have come to believe that the veil is one of very few symbols that manages to say something good and positive about the dignity of the Christian woman (and girl). It really warms my heart".

To those who fear that veiling is sort of a 'look at me' exhibitionism, let me just share my experience with you. As only one of two women who veil at my small rural parish (my grown daughter being the other), I can assure you that this practice is more humbling than it is a practice of conceit. Further I don't veil for exterior motives - I veil for the interior. For me veiling is about getting my mind focused on unity with Jesus. It's about showing Him that I have come to be His as He is mine. Veiling gives me a curtain, so to speak, allowing a certain amount of intimacy that closes out the busyness surrounding me at the Novus Ordo parish we attend. Along with resting my face in my hands after Holy Communion, it gives me a private place to commune with the Savior Who I have just received. Check out this post for more reasons women veil.

What Do Respected Catholic Sources Say about Veiling?

Of course, there is much differing opinion and even reporting of the meaning of the Canon Law cited above. In order to solidify the topic in my own mind, I went to sources known to be solid in their grasp of Catholicity. In his post, Do Women Need to Wear Head Coverings at Mass, Jimmy Akin pointed out, for example, that "given the natural expectations of many people at Extraordinary Form Masses, one can see a certain appropriateness to wearing them in that context". For emphasis he references a letter written by Cardinal Burke addressing this very topic. Since he is often asked about veiling Fr. Zuhlsdorf commented, "I think this is a good custom. It recommends itself on many levels, some of which are, frankly, obvious". In another post, he continues, "My view is that this custom should be revived. According to the Church’s present law, women are not obliged to cover their heads in church. I would be pleased if they did, but… hey…" In an effort to get out of the lively conversation that ensues after the topic of veiling is raised, Fr. Z promptly linked to a post from Conversion Diary about a woman's first experience with veiling.

So What's the Bottom Line on Veiling?

From what research has shown, and my own discernment, I have come to conclusion that veiling is a beautiful practice for those of us who feel called to it. That veiling is optional should quell any feelings of inadequacy or pressure on those who are not so inclined. I have personally found a peace and deeper ability to quiet my mind for prayer when I veil - but that is my own experience. Others may not have the same inclination or result. All in all, the Lord wants our undivided attention. He wants our respect and love. The manner in which we can best give Him the worship, praise and adoration due Him, will no doubt lead to a more fulfilling faith life. There are many black and white issues concerning Church teaching - Dogma - we are obligated to follow. Veiling, however, is not Dogma but an optional discipline. As our faith evolves we may change these optional practices from time to time. After all, a faith standing still is a faith in decline. So I leave you with this thought: veil if you feel called and don't worry about the perception of others. If you don't feel called to veil, also don't worry about the perception of others. Veiling is a practice that is, at its best, a call that we willingly answer - all with our own reasons and inspiration. To God the glory!

You might be interested in another veiling post I wrote last year - Veil Through the Joyful Mysteries.

Fifty Shades of Modesty

The cyber-wars over modesty have been raging for a while now. I became aware of this phenomenon when I posted a sign, similar to the one Vatican displays, on my Facebook wall. It clearly illustrates the do’s and don’ts of clothing while you are visiting. As I quickly found out, however, the sentiment on this prickly topic is not as black and white as I had first presumed – even among ‘good’ Catholics. Some of the comments on my wall made that very clear.

I have learned a lesson from all of this; there are, indeed, shades of grey when it comes to modesty. While I can understand the hard line that must be taken by a place like the Vatican – where allowing sleeveless dresses could and would easily morph into spaghetti straps – the lines can, and should, be softened when it comes to the day to day people attending a church near you.

Last night I read a sincerely distressed blog post concerning this very topic. In it, the writer spoke of her frustration in battling for modesty. And yet, she found that she had grown in her expectations and softened her attitude when dealing with others. This line of thinking resonated with me. It got me to pondering the stages of life and the origins of individuals.

As we are told in the Gospel of Luke, “…unto whomsoever much is given, of him much shall be required”. Yet we are all infants, spiritually, who are simply in differing developmental stages. Some have been exposed to our wonderful Church for a longer period of time and have been taught throughout their lives by parents who learned before them. Others come into the Church as searching adults who have not been as readily catechized. Even among those who are cradle Catholics, there will be nuances of development and conscience.

This has led me to these conclusions in my quest for modesty:

• Promoting modesty to increase the respect given to women in these overly sexualized times is a burden carried by all of us - men and women alike. Ideally it will begin with our infant girls. We should feel the love of neighbor enough to reflect moral values in the way women are respected for their unique gift of femininity. Theirs is truly a place of dignity and honor.

• Although we are called to fraternal correction, we must always do so in a way that is helpful and not hurtful. There might be a time when we unintentionally cause hurt, so we must continue to love others and to allow them the room they need to develop  their own conscience. 

• There are concrete areas when it comes to modesty. It is a given that showing too much flesh is an occasion of sin for others. When we speak of extremes – cleavage, miniskirts, and strapless clothing – we are safe in knowing that these are hard and fast lines of decorum. However, this does not give us a right to judge the soul of another.

• There are grey areas as well. Whether or not to exclusively wear dresses, veils, or even dressy clothes is a cultural issue. That we would like to encourage others to wear their best – whatever their best may be – is an area that should ultimately come down to personal responsibility (or perhaps a pastor’s comment). After all, during the course of the Church calendar, we will all be hearing of wearing the appropriate ‘wedding garment’.

In conclusion, it is evident that we are called to be the best child of God that we can be. We should all strive for perfection every single day. However, we must distinguish between the black and white, and the grey areas. We must maintain our Christian charity, while maintaining our desire to help one another in this journey. And we must recognize that, as children of God, we are all unquestionably loved by Him. Our love in return must guide not just our dress, but also our interaction with our family – our brothers and sisters in Christ.